Friday, September 05, 2008

wah~~~
so long never update blog already!
recently been so busy...

have ncc sea training for recent sea comp!
sad to say, we never get overall girls 1st
cos PHS won us by two points
actually we won them by two points than they protest during a race that some boats cut
into their lanes
than their protest helped them get four points more...
wah, at first so happy we got overall girls 1st
than when the news came that PHS girls won us, *in a state of shock*

girls got gold for every race except for the Part C girls singles
thus we got overall 1st for singles and doubles
boys i not so sure...but we collected many medals at the end of the day!
hahas, mr heng sort of *stole* all the medals from the seniors and tied all of it to his waistbag
than when he walk around, you can hear the medals making alot of noise



after the prize giving, we went to congratulate PHS girls
actually they are really friendly...
there is this girl from PHS, same age as me
she last year came up to me and congratulate me as i won
than this year i recognise her at the sea comp again when we was in the waiting area
than we wish each other good luck!
so we girls went up to the PHS girls and congratulate them on being overall 1st
we shook hands and hug each other...almost wanted to cry
and told them we'll see them next year and that they must train hard!

in the bus was really funny...
when the govind told us to get up the bus,
me, ole ran to get to the bus first
cos if not joshua would take the back seat
so when i was climbing up the stairs to the bus, i saw joshua running crazily to the bus
was super hilarious...
but in the end we took the back seat,
though i don't know why, halfway towards the journey, our bus seats exchanged
joshua and govind took the back seat while ole and me took the four front seats
but that way, we can lie down... while they cannot!

next time...i know i must always bring my tamagochis to the competition
cos i brought two, than ole and me spent the whole day playing it
helped us to pass the time quickly...

first day of competition was really cool!
milton brought a large green mat...sort of like a picnic mat
than we lay it on the grass,
after i came back from my single race
the boys all went of to their race
so me,ole and ebi hog the whole green mat!
hahas, than we three laid down on the mat and sleep...
so shiok, don't know how long we slept for, i think a hour perhaps
lucky we woke up in time too, cos soon after, it started raining!!
so we quickly brought the mat into the shelter and sat down on it.
play lots of game, ole and joey introduced to one tarzan game,
had lots and lots of fun.

sad...i think i injured my knee and down with the flu too
cos when i tried to squat down to talk to letitia, suddenly my leg gave way
than i ended up collapsing on the ground with me clutching at my knee
extremely painful, than i was down on the ground so long till letitia ran and called mr heng
than he helped me to massage my knee
thanks rachel, letitia, ole and ebi for helping me! and mr heng too, of course!
plus many thanks to the parents of randall,yi qi,germaine and sorry if i missed out anybody parents names for all the food and goodies and drinks!
they sponsor milo packet drinks!
and brought lunch also!
practically the whole table was filled with food for us to snack on...

saw some of our camp feast bravo 4 guys at the competition too
never got to say hi to them though...

when we came back to school, we went to shower!!
hahas, instead of going home and shower, we decided to use the school water and money
to pay for our baths!
so environmentally friendly! hahas, cos school water no heater... :(
but still very refreshing and not smelly at all!

after ncc sea training one day...
me, ole and ebi went vivo city by mrt!
it was raining... so from kallang river where we was training,
we ran all the way to kallang mrt trying not to get soaked
even with the running, it didn't work though!
went to the arcade first, played time crisis,
then to the pet shop!!
the puppies so cute!
than peep in the grooming window,
the poodle looked like a lamb
the black one looked so funny!
the rabbit looked so cute while being groomed, it stayed very still on the groomer's lap while the groomer was cutting its fur.
spent a while inside than headed to daiso
omg! i can't believe how long we spent inside...
we wanted to buy this and that
in the end, lured ourselves away from temptation and brought only two things in the end
then to mini toons, action city, precious thots!
after all that window shopping, our feet was aching and our stomaches was growling
so ebi brought a oreo donut while me and ole went to buy sushi!!
wah...must buy for chopsticks, than we don't want to buy
the cashier say can take disposable forks for free...
so we use the forks
after eating, realised that the time was 6:30pm!!
lols,and i told my mum i would be back home by 7pm
so took the mrt to ang mo kio than a bus home

and called my mum saying i would be late...
luckily i didn't get scolded X)

rachel and randall came last saturday for the CIP thing!
than so fun, we half the time slacking away,
playing cards, talking and eating potato chips!!
though it was quite muddy when we had to collect the footballs
during our lunch break came the most fun part!!
cos we had to walk quite far to get lunch...so randall suggested cutting across the field
than we had to walk down the sandy slope which was quite dangerous cos could slip anytime
so randall went down first than he helped us to go down
after that...walk until we came to an obstacle course,
because there is a huge and wide drain in the middle...
so to cut across, we had to take one obstacle course across
there was a rope bridge...where you put your feet on a rope and your hands on another rope, than walk across
and a wheel bridge...where you had to step on the wheels which would move about
and a swing across bridge, which we took!!
hahas...we decided on the swing across bridge cos it seemed the most safest
so we went over to it and than we saw that we just had to walk across
cos there was this stone path beside the swing across bridge which couldn't be seen from where
we was standing just now...
so thankfully, we didn't had to swing across, if not what happens if we fall???
hahas, than randall very gentlemanly helped us across.
after that we walk up a stone stairs than came to a fence with a door
than we unlock the door...
and finally arrived at the other side!!

than when we took five steps, a coach i think scolded us
said that we not allow to come by that way...


cos private property!`~~
than we all so embarrassed...hahas
but nevertheless still so fun!
than we went inside turf city mall, couldn't decide what to eat
so watch a spider man movie showing on a TV for a while,
than see all the bargain buys
than went to the hawker centre to eat...
on the way back, we didn't went the same way we came from!
we didn't wanted to get scolded again! hahas

now for photos!!

after competition day 1 and after showering!!~

At Vivo City

xoxo
5:30 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2008

had a really weird and strange dream, hahas
i slept the whole day!
never go school (:
now really very relaxed and feeling much much better, hahas

dreamt that ole,ebi and me walking around in a giantic golden blur
than chanced upon a neoprint booth which ole offered to treat us!!
than in another room, our parents...hmms, only ole's parents, my parents and my auntie's extented family
ebi's parents wasn't there...i dunno why though
they having steamboat!! than they keep calling us to join them for steamboat
but we too busy taking neoprints = DD
than this neoprint booth so very cool!!
got really very beautiful backgrounds~~
angelic, funky and so much more
i really like the angelic one cos' it like made us look like we got angel's wings!
and we really look really angelic

this machine has one ultra super feature
you can save all your neoprints and go somewhere else, than come back to the machine
and press the "LOAD" buttons
than can continue taking neoprints
omigosh~~~~~~~~~~

hahas, than our parents was still calling us!
after that my mum got really angry and stomped towards us...
scary...

than the scene changed, wah~~
a huge, giantic monster coming after me
thankfully i woke up before i kenw what happened = DD
dreamt a lot... but i can only remember the neoprint booth one!
maybe cos' it was really very memorable
it was like we three girls had this special bond
we laughed like crap and had a whole lot of fun
and like we were the only three people in the entire world
cos' we only heard voices calling us through the golden haze
and there was nobody elses around

the dream was really very comfortable...
i really wanted to live in it and continue taking neoprints forever
cos it seemed like the only purpose in the dream was to have fun with my two best friends
not like the reality...hahas, have so many problems and obstacles

such a wonderful, happy dream = DD
kkays, i go sleep already, tomorrow have school!
goodnight and byebye~
samantha!

hoping for another wonderful dream!

Labels: the wonderful dream

xoxo
12:55 AM

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

yeah! got my nepal pictures from Captain Alvin finally!!
after what seems like a long period of waiting, wee~~~~
not that i'm complaining =DD

08 June 2008
Location: Airport


Changi Airport,departure from Singapore
hahas, Mr Ow introduced us to the Vice Principal
as PPG! than he was surprised that got PPG!

Location: Plane

Plane food~~ which was yummilious
(i didn't eat this, i think i ate noodles??)

Ole and ebi...hmms

Location: Nepal's international airport

Arrival at Nepal's international airport!!

A journey of a lifetime, hahas...just kidding

Walking to the bus

Inside the bus

Location: Hotel

Arrival at hotel...a long long briefing by Mr Ow
(hmms,we listening so closely and intensely//
we very good girls right?)



Location; Dismissed to our rooms = DD!


Our extremely messy hotel room
(and they always say girls are neater than guys)

Location: Tour of Themal







Back to the hotel for dinner and briefing


Another briefing of the next day liternary
(everyone so happy except xiujin and emilyn...lols)

Location: Dining Room

Waiting for the "guests of honour"

Soup!


Totally satisafted with my food = DD


Wow!! Sizzling hot plate!!

09 June 2008
Location: Conference room for Morning Devotion


Everyone looks so tired...

Location: Enroute to Sukute Beach











Location: Sukute Beach (Adventure Camp)

Needed to unload the kayaks...

Our instructor Sam in e blue t-shirt
He won a championship before

After changing into wet attire...basic safety and skills





Changing into gear...



Location: Icy Cold River

Spraydeck stuck!! Help me = DD

Capsize drills...I remembered me,ebi and ole would groan
each time we had to do capsize drills.
Hahas, cos' the river was so COLD!!
and i repeat SNOW COLD!!
brrr...

Location: Sleeping place of Ebi and me



10 June 2008
Location: Mealtime
Had some early river training than went for m
eals


Location: Lunch Time







Location: Icy Cold River (3km kayaking down rapids)
I don't have any pictures of us kayaking down the rapids...
only videos which i will post later

The safety boat to rescue us

The bus that would bring us back

Carrying the kayaks back to the bus

Exhausted and weary after the rapids...

Instructors loading the kayaks up the bus

The eerily calm river

11 June 2008
Our goodbyes












Location: Enroute to Niva Niwa Lodge @Nagarkotc











Location:
Niva Niwa Lodge @Nagarkotc




Night time reflection...hahas, everyone looked
so bored

Workers

Ole and ebi

Captain Alvin = DD

Ole staring out at the horizon

Three of us ~~

Abigail

Glen

Wen Xi and Letitia

Mountain and Sunset View at the resort rooftop
the sunset is so beautiful~~















Location: In our bedroom
hahas, we got the BIGGEST bedroom = DD
xiu jin and randall was complaining so unfair!!
wee~~ PPG rocks bigtime!!

Me and ebi at night-time

Lightsticks flower~~

Ebi sleeping...so shiok

12 June 2008
Location: Morning devotion @ the logde



Breakfast!


Location: b. Snow peak view @ Niva Niwa Lodge










With Glen, hmms...

Samuel the chipmunk XD

Black black, red red! cool huh? XD

Mr Ow and Mr Suyria

Location: On way to visit the school










Location: At the school







Location: Back at hotel for certificate ceremony

Labels: NEPAL TRIP

xoxo
10:25 PM

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Went out today with ebi and ole!
GIRLS ONLY~
we never went out together for just a long time already...
i mean with only just three of us ><

ebi wanted buy new spectacleswhich has the same style as ole
so she asked us to accompany her.
than we went to queensway and ole brought us to the shop,
than ebi couldn't decide whether the white was nicer or the dark blue was
in the end, she chose the white as it matches most of her clothes.

after that, walk around and brought ice cream!
the chocolate mint icecream was especially yummy!
*thumbs up!*

while eating, we decided to walk to anchorpoint.
brought doggie treats for charlie! and went cold storage...
hahas, when we was inside, we wanted to eat everything
ole brought potato chips for us to snack on!
than came to a shop which sold whacky stuff...
hmms, the stuff was really whacky and funny
but it a store where you can find great gifts!

saw a hello kitty shop!!
so we went inside and i played the turn turn machine with ole
i chose a hello kitty machine and ole chose winnIe the pooh machine
i got a cute hello kitty!
wee~~

went to a bakery and brought bread for lunch
crossed over the bridge to IKEA!!
totally renovated... and i got a balloon XD!!
super cool design!
than walked around and went to kiddie section
we took so many pictures!! and ate hotdog
after hotdog...we went home!!
sighs... =(such a fun day end so fast...

Labels: MY IKEA OUTING~

xoxo
7:16 PM

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Say hi to my new pet rabbit Astral!

xoxo
5:23 PM

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

xoxo
6:48 AM

Was so bored after showering, so went into
my youngest sister's room and chanced upon
her watching the Powerpuff's Girls.
Took some pictures (:

Showing...

xoxo
1:24 AM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

finally change blogskin!
had the same problem as ebi cause we both have the same designer in our last blogskin
finally found this skin, which i really really liked!

hmms,
i still remember the first two friends i made in 2F
*drum roll* ~~~~~
morris and theon!
hahas...
these two combined together was super hilarious on msn
what happened to those good times?
i not saying now not good times
but back than, it was also good times!

than one day, ole pointed this out
i think ole pointed this out, hmms... (can't remember whom)
"do you realise most of our close friends are guys?"
than me and ebi was like thinking...
and we came to this conclusion "OMG,its true!!"

yeah...hahas,
me and ebi are anti socials~
when we first got into 2F
we rarely talk to anyone else beside ole and han nian
cos' we didn't know anyone!!
than we make friends on the class blog somehow
and i still remember don't know what sentosa trip charmaine or theon wanted to arrange??
than conference!
but pity, never work out in the end
i mean the trip of course!
and i was just listening, rarely talking (:

hahas,
those was fond memories...

and a few days before Valentine's Day
me, ebi and ole stepped into school wearing three SAME school bags
hahas, it was so funny to watch the reaction of everyone who saw us together

many called us "lesbians"
many called us "insane"

its part of our unique identity as the PPG!

but now...
so complicated

relationships, anger, hatred, jealously
that destroyed so many friendships
made so many people shed tears
broken once too many hearts

if you love her,
why do you ignore her?
why don't you talk to her?

she cries for you every night
she gives up a forest for a tree
she has hoards of admirers
but she chose you

it wasn't easy for you two
to have a relationship
yet, you two managed to overcome all obstacles
and fall in love together

why give up now?
a word, a smile can do wonders
the decision is up to you.

hmms, now "someone" nagging me to go to sleep
i better go to sleep soon~~

but lastly, i like to say the poem is for JJ
i can't stand it anymore!!
YOU'RE BREAKING MY BEST FRIEND HEART!
*flames coming out of my ears and nose*

byebye, goodnight
samantha

xoxo
12:55 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

When the bus came to a halt outside Jalan Bahtera Adventure Camp, a thrill of anticipation passed through me. There were to be four days of fun and excitement though I was not allowed to bring any gadgets or electronic devices that might “pamper” us, for the purpose of this camp was to be away from the comfort of home.

When I got off the bus, the air was really fresh so I took a gulp of it. Then the teachers ushered me into the parade square. It wasn't quite large enough to fit in all of us so I was pretty squeezed. I kept fidgeting when the instructors was making their welcome speech as I was baking under the hot sun. Finally, I was taken to a hut that I was sharing with my
classmates and another class (girls and guys were separated of course) for the next three nights. I had
imagined an old, dirty and small hut but I was pleasantly surprised. The hut was spacious, with wooden flooring and what was supposed to be walls was replaced with large airy window grilles.

The rest of the days flew past with many activities such as abseiling, flying fox, high elements, kayaking, raft making and much more. I also got to know two instructors, who were in charge of our class, Shelly and Xue Er. The two instructors were a contrast in personality. Instructor Xue Er was the more affable and relaxed instructor while instructor Shelly was disciplined and strict. Due to this, I preferred instructor Xue Er to instructor Shelly and was delighted to know that she was taking charge of my group.

The most memorable part of this adventure camp for me was when my class was selected to serve food during lunch on the third day of the camp. Each class took turns during meals to serve food. They would stand behind a long table in which was heavily laden with dishes. But some chosen ones would be at the bins and taps. It was like a buffet except that there were people serving the dishes. Those people were there to ensure that there would be enough food for everyone. When each class was notified to get their food, they would form a line at the long table and move quietly to each person serving different dishes.

My class was released early to prepare for this event. The food has been cooked and was ready. Lining the bins with plastic bags and filling the basins with soapy water was the task given to my classmates. My role was to serve the fish. Unfortunately, I had to eat quickly as mealtime was approaching. After the hungry cheer and prayers was said, serving began. I can still recall the tension each time I ladled the food on to some one's plate. Sometimes when someone thought I gave too little, they would give me an accusing glare or a disappointed look and than I would feel shame burning my face. Also there was the added pressure of the instructors supervising me, watching the amount of fish I gave each person. Finally, I could relax when everyone had his or her turn.

Although it was stressful and tiring, this event was very meaningful. The next mealtime came, and when I went to the table to get my food, I gave them a smile to convey my appreciation and I was rewarded with a lit up face. It warmed my heart.
The lesson learned while serving the fish has made me more aware of how a little gratitude can do wonders.

I also learned life is so much more fun without luxuries as there is so much more time for friendship bonding! I would strongly recommend this camp for anyone who wants to make friends and get fit both mentally and physically, as there are many activities that help stimulate both your mind and body.

xoxo
1:53 AM

Thursday, June 19, 2008

so many things happened...
got into a huge argument with him.

oleander told me about all the stuff that he told christopher
he doubts that i really love him,

told him to leave me alone...
have to sort out my thinking

xoxo
12:34 AM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

class gathering was a horrible day
i wasn't talking about the class gathering which was fun
but something happened, long story
made me feel so upset.

back from Nepal!
i want to go back ):
i hate reality!

there's a lot of details in ebi blog so check it out for information!
i lazy to type it all out :)
but pictures are worth a thousand words!
so lets make a scrapbook!





the rest will be coming soon!

xoxo
4:15 AM

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Charmaine playing Time Crisis

Shoot himself??

Top Skater!

Cheese!

At Toy r Us...


thinking that this March camp is the toughest i ever had
but overall,felt like it was a average March Holidays...

xoxo
1:19 PM

Sunday, March 09, 2008

xoxo
8:59 PM

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

NCC(SEA) Pot Luck: JUNK FOOD MADNESS

Eat until like that (Mr Kwa says =X)

Same bags!Three different COLOURS!

Milton stuck in middle -=

xoxo
8:04 PM

Saturday, January 26, 2008

TT so much trouble these few days...
Alas,my computer the keyboard is down and so i can't even type my password to get into my computer
Ole,hurry up with that plug-in keyboard!
So now using Megan's computer...
No maple TT
but still can blog,
always best to look at the bright side =X
her computer screen is so cool and clear...
very clear...
her computer newer than mine TT

Sore throat,coughing away and runny nose TT
it like me,oleander,emilyn and rachel have the flu also
lols,maybe we all pass it to one another

than there this problem with my boyfriend
huh?! boyfriend?! i bet not many people know yet,
he always so insecure
and always so negative

i hate marathon training!
make me come home at 9plus everyday...
and seriously,i not exaggerating!
then still have to do homework,pack my bag for NCC (SEA),feed the dogs,walk the dogs and put the dishes into the dishwasher (since there's no maid now)
which always led to me sleeping late
and than the next day in class i cannot even concentrate at all...
got scolded by Miss Shamsiah,Miss Luah for sleeping TT
and Beckson expect me to peii him every moment of the day
OVER-STRESSED ALREADY!

so much pressure
i don't even think i can win the marathon

yesterday was fun = DD!
after training and after debrief by Mr Heng and Captain Alvin which took so long TT
we went opposite to eat
that part was so-so
the fun part came when we were at the bus stop opposite school
Hubert and leon like a bunch of monkeys
especially leon,lols!
waited the bus for 30mins TT
but at least got entertainment from them
ole...
i seriously think you shouldn't give leon any more chocolate biscuit sticks
he eat the chocolate,become too hyper already

and when we went to collect our bags at c311
before the debrief TT
me,ole and emilyn saw a super perverted sight at the central staircase
Nicholas,Siew Rong and Zulfaiz...
they three was triple humping each other at the staircase
SUPER SICKENING!
and when they saw us,at least they got the common sense to stop their humping right there

TT and Siew Rong,Milton and Joshua still owe Captain Alvin 1000 pushups for playing around

can't say much of the last few days of the week
my memory now seems to be blanked out TT

But one thing i know is ...

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED

NICHOLAS,SIEW RONG AND ZULFAIZ ARE

PERVERTED



EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!


and emilyn,i don't care what reason you're giving
ole agree with me too!

EMILYN IS ON A DIET!

you are really on a diet for no whim or why
maybe for JW ar?

now raining...
a sad start to this day TT
and i hope tomorrow will rain super heavily at kallang!!

lots of love,
Samantha

P.S sorry for no pictures this time around
simply hasn't had the time to take any pictures these last days...

xoxo
1:31 PM

Sunday, January 13, 2008

xoxo
8:41 PM

Monday, January 07, 2008

eh?haven been updating as usual = DD!
hahas,can tell i am a very good mood nowadays
life rocks! T.T
just that my sister is talking to herself like some...
getting on my nerves,i think she trying to provoke me
doing some dramatic actions and keep saying her teachers!
lols!she actually go to her school website and research them...
and than talking to herself saying this teacher is ugly,this teacher is so short!
i know she trying to provoke me only cause she know i can't stand people talking cute and making noise for no apparent reasons
get on my nerves,but i have to tolerate!
can't let her win!
heh!i got my revenge back on her...
sabotaged me?i know how to sabotage back de!
my revenge is 100 times back!
THIS IS WAR!!

she started it...
i lazy explain in details how she started it,
but remember Andrea!

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

from the time you betrayed me,
i have decided to take my revenge!
we two are good actresses eh?
can act as nothing has happen...
but underneath the mask i give you,

I HATE YOU!

the smiles that i have given you are fake
and i can't really be bothered by you anymore
i really can't be bothered anymore...

anyways,training for marathon start today
tiring and embarrassing!
run up and down school...
almost died!
my chest felt like it has just been stabbed T.T
painful...hard to breathe,than i keep telling myself
that the pain is nothing compared to what i have been through before
so i must keep running!

i treat running as a form of relief...
i don't know how is it a relief = = "
but it is like...
me don't know how explain = DD!

than we do the fishy push ups,
i call it fishy push ups,lols!
damn funny,me don't know how do = = "
and the sit ups...
lols!claudia keep saying she want throw up her garlic bread,
than i keep laughing,until chest hurts again!
laugh until i couldn't do the fishy push ups properly (=

THAN RUN TO SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC FROM SCHOOL!
even worse than running around school,pain like...
T.T than i keep telling myself,i am doing this for the sake of er,
can't say...
than on way back to school,i walk 1/4 of the distance
i really cannot stand the pain anymore
after that start jogging (=
than i cheer everyone to jog!
don't give up!

...
captain alvin say this the first part of the endurance training only,
than like that already tired out so easily T.T

eh?everyday training!
starting from wednesday onwards...
i am wondering how am i going to juggle my studies,cca and maple T.T
me don't want give up maple!
i now very tired already = = "

elements ...
i feel like shouting at the teacher...
haven teach,give us this impossible homework
me fed up, i anyhow do!
i go internet search until like FOREVER!!
than really really give up...
science teacher say just try your best!

hahas,chinese new year countdown rocks!
me go private club count down = DD
than dance and the usual things at a club!
me like the casino there!
did i tell can gamble there?
hahas,i gamble until lose lose lose T.T
5dollars one token...
minimum bet is one token,
i think i never even make profit
lols!

but never see fireworks...
eh!i hope one day i can see fireworks with someone i love (=
under the moonlit starry sky
so romantic,
...
enough of daydreaming!

i change blogskins finally = DD
something wrong with blogskin website and my computer T.T
after a while on blogskin website,suddenly cannot access the website!
me very fedup!

if most of you all noticed,i removed some posts from my blog already!
i kept it all as drafts!
so nobody but me can reread them again! (=
i remove all past year posts i think...

and my links
i only link all those i think is fit to be linked = = "
if i has offended anyone of you,
than i am sorry...

really times fly eh = = "
new class,new teachers
but at least through train class
take o levels!
even chapel change...
now is Sec 2 with Sec 4 and 5!
eee!!
than Sec 1 with Sec 3
not nice eh...

now reading a book called the da vinci code,
seem interesting (=
i heard it was very popular...
so i wanted give a go at it,
halfway through the book already = DD
very interesting!

if only,
if only,
time could stand still...

if only,
if only,
i has the power to stop time

for,
for,
i want this moment to last

eh?okay!
i better stop writing already = ="
oleander chasing me to hurry up,
and chasing me for her bottle
lols!

lots of loves and kisses!
samantha

PS don't worry Oleander!I try and remember to bring your orange bottle tomorrow = = "
hahas,if i forget...
don't kill me!

xoxo
10:38 PM

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

sighs...
wanted change blogskins but my internet keep hanging on me
haven been updating as usual (:
busy playing,watching and going out
lols!

emilyn and oleander came to my house last wednesday to have a sleepover
been like a long time ago,but it just a week ago!
rachel couldn't make it because her mother don't allow
sad...
but the sleepover was real fun (:
we slept very late at night,hahas!
and we cook cheese marconi,played x-box,took neoprints,watch movie,paint nails,go arcade and played computer!
wanted go swimming on our last day at 7am...
cause oleander had to be home by 3pm
but then we all overslept and woke up at 10am+
lols!


then we decided not to swimming
sighs,i really wanted to go!
then we could sit the waff...
big floaty waff (:
very fun that time emilyn,emilyn's sisters and rachel came to my house for swimming
never mind,next time...ole!you will get a chance to try out the waff!

then on 6dec (thursday)
we had to meet andy and they all
haiz...as usual,they daren't approach us
lols!
they invited us to watch the movie "The Golden Compass"
in the end,
me,emilyn,oleander and rachel watch by ourselves
fun...but i couldn't really understand cause no english subtitles = = "


but at least i read the whole series so i kinda understand
i just don't understand why the books is against christian values...
i will just go and read the books a second time,maybe will figure it out (:
we also went to the arcade!
me and emilyn seriously sucks at the arcade...
lols!
i don't really go arcade = ="
noisy and stuff like that
last time,when i was younger... in hongkong or genting
i really love the arcade (:
played lots of game and got lots of tickets
lols!
then exchange for lots of toys
at times,we couldn't stuff it all into our suitcases and had to buy another one
then we would come back to singapore and mess up the whole house with our toys (:
now i don't really like the arcade = = "
in the arcade we kinda broke a game...
not we broke!
you know the game where you move the controls then you move until you pick up a stuff toy?
we put the coin in then move move,and failed!
then after that,we just stare at the game when suddenly the the pickup thingy drop down...
i don't really know how explain,lols...
sound like someone bang the machine
then the alarm went off = = "


then me,emilyn,oleander and rachel ran off
lols!
had our neoprints taken
after that we went for dinner,
as usual rachel didn't eat with us...
she had food waiting for her back home
then we went shopping!!
tsktsk...emilyn felt like vomiting cause she drank too much soft drink
i told her stop drinking but she continued...
sighs!JEC not really fun,nothing to shop de
i like JP more,can shop better!
even though no neoprints there...
lols!
i actually wanted buy earrings and emilyn wanted buy bracelets,but then nothing at JEC


brought candy floss(box) for my sisters to eat at home (:
i love candy floss too!
but i think elaine love it even more...
she kinda like siew rong
cause that time andrea birthday party
she ate like 5+ candy floss and lots of popcorns...
hahas (:
the candy floss at JEC was real nice!
shopping finished we went home...
took a cab back with emilyn and oleander
rachel walked back home
in the taxi,emilyn still felt very sick
sighs,i scared she puke...
then oleander ask her put her head between her legs
but then em say she feel even more like puking
em was in the middle seat
i told em whenever i feel very carsick,i will lean against the window and go to sleep
the middle seat nothing to lean against so i change places with emilyn...
wah!!then i have nothing to lean against!!
emilyn and oleander drifted off to sleep as it was quite a long journey back
i tried sleeping but it was so uncomfortable sleeping sitting up...
actually wanted go swimming the same night
but we all too tired out!
lols!







been watching lots of anime shows
and staying up...

lols!
today supposed to go jurong library but then...
nobody told me the timing!
haven collected my math homework
i haven done any homework yet,
sighs!do i really want to get off to a bad start on the first day of school?
but then i always do my homework at the last minute de!
sighs...i must really get my life into order soon...

almost a year have pass
from the beginning of January till now
the days have gone by,
in the blink of a eye
but the memories still last
joy,sadness,laughter and tears
each of them equally dear
and when the time come
to say farewell
remember,
that memories always last!

lots of love,
Samantha!

xoxo
4:56 PM

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

due to someone,you know who you are (: constantly nagging for me to update my blog,
i'm finally updating...
"HORROR!"*eyes bulging*
19days since i last updated...
lols,i never knew i had strayed from doing my duty to my dear blog

i been playing on the computer for like 24/7
ok,maybe not...
but my nights has turn into days and you know what happens
ok,my friend dante or that his name = =" yesterday asked me why are you so happy?

me: how do you know i am even happy?"
dante: i can tell,you know...
dante: the smileys and the lols
me: i where got so obvious??
dante: when you happy,you put lots of smileys and lols

talk about knowing me!
obviously i was talking on the game...
ok,i admit i was super happy yesterday (:
but mood was spoiled by my mother today *temperature rising*
halfway playing the game,i went to my mum room
she was there playing with charlie
then she asked me whether i was free this sunday
i was free then i asked why,she said because of Andrea promotional dinner
*me wants to cry already*
me: not fair!you go for her promotional dinner but not mine,somemore you must pay for her $55 and for yourself $55...
mine only $25 and for you $60,then you still say expensive
*went out of mum's room disappointed*
i wanted to scream at her,
you only care about Andrea!
everything she do you praise like mad...always because she do well in gym,
what about me? i worked so hard to win your stupid approval...
i studied so hard...
i even came in 3rd in the whole N(A) level and yet you don't care
i even got the most student improvement award
but no matter what i do!
you only care about her gym!
it is always about Andrea's gym...
when i invited you for my NCC(SEA) activities,you declined saying you were too tired...
but when Andrea had any activities,you was always raring to go,
it hurt like hell,i want so much for you to praise me,
to show me off to your friends
but it is always ANDREA ANDREA ANDREA!
everytime you speak to your friends about Andrea,
i could hear the pride in your words
but what about ME?
i worked so hard,i strived for the best
i even pay attention in class and handed up my work on time!
all for you!it is so hard to win your approval?
when i could just throw my life away?
i work so bloody hard for your approval...
i have push myself to the limits,i just only want your approval
i want to hear you for once saying my name with pride
can't you just do it?
when NCC(SEA) competition came,
i aimed for the goal...i hoped when i won those medals
those gold medals,the ones you deemed worthless compared to Andrea's medals
i would win your praise...
and the way you would say my name with pride
but when i got them,you just said "good job"
it is so hard for you to be like you were for Andrea when she won medals?
a happy smiling face?words of praises?
the beaming smile which you showed for Andrea when she won the medals hurt so much
i wish i could have that...
i know i can never be in the Olympics
i know that your goal for Andrea
to be in the Olympics
i know that Andrea might be a famous gymnast who can bring honour to this country
i wish for that too...
but i wish even more for your approval,
i feel so unloved
and once when you screamed at me "aren't all those toys and stuff i brought for you enough?"
as you said,they were just toys and stuff...
but mum,
your words and approval are worth so much more
compared to the toys and stuff,
your words and approval are priceless to me
you leave me at a crossroad in my life...
should i continue studying hard?
or should i just throw my life away?
after all it is for nothing...
nothing i ever do is worth your approval!
YOUR APPROVAL!
i just want that and nothing else!
would you only be happy if i just kill myself?
i can feel your love slipping away from me with each thing Andrea does...
even i feel that you love Megan and Andrea more then me!
i feel like i am worth nothing in your life...
if i kill myself,maybe you would just continue your life per normal
maybe you would feel like you never had a daughter like me!
am i such a failure as a daughter?
but i guess,you would never know all these feelings i felt...

when it was time for dinner,the maid went to fetch me from my um...computer

maid: go eat dinner
me: coming
*maid went out of the room*
5minutes later...
(her name)sheryl: dinner is here already
me: *frusated look* okayokay! i'm coming! wait!
*went out*
back in a few minutes
sheryl: mam angry already! go eat... *imitate eating*
me: i am coming! don't disturb! later i go eat!
*maid went out and mum stormed in*
mum: GO HAVE YOUR DINNER!
me: later!
me: *turn back to computer and started playing*
mum: WHEN I SAID EAT MEAN GO EAT NOW!!
me: *resigned look*

then i got out from my chair and headed to the dining table...
then she started yelling at me

mum: WHEN GOT NO FOOD,YOU COMPLAIN HUNGRY!WHEN THERE IS FOOD,YOU DON'T WANT EAT!WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!*using chopsticks point at me*
NEXT TIME DON'T ASK ME BUY YOUR SHARE...YOU GO FIND YOUR OWN DINNER!I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!
me: *start eating dinner*
mum: SHERYL!GET ME A PLATE!
sheryl: *bring a small plate*
mum: IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT FOR DINNER?THIS AMOUNT OF FOOD?(cause the plate small...)
sheryl: no mam,i didn't know you want big plate mam
mum: STOP ACTING SO DUMB!IS THIS IS THE STANDARD YOU PERFORM,I MIGHT AS WELL SEND YOU BACK TO THE AGENCY AND REPORT TO THE POLICE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!
sheryl: what did i do? *whines*
mum: YOU JOLLY WELL KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!IF I SEND YOU BACK,DO YOU THINK ANOTHER EMPLOYER WILL WANT YOU AFTER WHAT YOU DONE?THINK ABOUT IT!I GOT 3 CHILDREN WHO ALREADY DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE!ADD ON YOU!I DON'T NEED ANOTHER CHILD TO LOOK AFTER!I HIRED YOU TO HELP NOT ADD ON TO MY LOAD!
mum: *start pointing chopsticks at megan*
mum: AND YOU!EVERYDAY THROW TRANTUM!ANOTHER TRANTUM AND I SEND YOU PACKING TO YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE!IF THIS WHAT YOU CHILDREN WANT!I JUST DUMP YOU ALL ON YOUR FATHER!THEN I CAN DISPOSE OF THE MAID!
me: *finishes dinner quickly,and put the plates at the back*
me: *then went to my room to play computer*
mum: SAMANTHA!
me: coming!
me: *arrives*
mum: SIT ON THE SOFA!
mum *point chopsticks at me*
me: *sit at sofa*
mum: WHO SAY YOU CAN GO YOUR ROOM PLAY SOME MORE COMPUTER?YOU WANT ME CUT OFF YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION?THEN I JUST SET UP A DIAL-UP LINE FOR MYSELF!THEN YOU AND ANDREA WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO PLAY COMPUTER ANYMORE!YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO PISSED OFF THAT I ATTENDING ANDREA'S PROMOTIONAL DINNER!IT NOT LIKE I WANT TO GO!WHY DON'T YOU GO ASK YOUR FATHER TO GO THEN?IT NOT THAT I WANT TO GO,I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!WHEN YOU ASKED ME ABOUT YOUR PROMOTIONAL DINNER,YOU SAID "AIYA,MUMMY...NEVER MIND!THOSE TICKETS ARE EXPENSIVE,YOU DON'T NEED COME..."
me: i never!you was the one who said the tickets were expensive and MUST I GO?
i didn't said these to my mum but i only said those words because i wanted to hide my feelings...
i wanted to believe that she thought those tickets was expensive and that i didn't want her to come cause of the ridiculous price
mum: WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST PACK YOUR BAGS AND GO?FIANCALLY,I BEEN PROVIDING FOR YOU ALL FOR MOST OF YOUR LIFE?IT NOT LIKE YOUR FATHERS HAD A PART!IS YOUR LIFE HERE VERY MISERABLE?EVERYTIME I SEE 3 UNHAPPY CHILDREN AND A UNHAPPY MAID!AND YOU *pointing chopsticks at me* WHAT HAVE I SEEN YOU DOING DURING THE HOLIDAYS?PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES NON-STOP!

i cried when she brought up the part about the promotional dinner...
life was just so unfair,
if only she really knew how i felt

i went to the bathroom to cry...
and while having my shower,
i thought of how i felt her love was slipping from me about how she never said my name with praise
and i just took the penknife from the bathroom cupboard
the pain from cutting myself wasn't as painful as what i could never win from her...
i loved her so much,in spite of the spiteful things i said to her
the hateful looks
and the words i said in a moment of anger
some people whom i met,said i was very matured
but living a life like this...
i have to be mature
like how she could never provide a decent lunch on a fixed hour
or how that we don't have a normal routine like every family does
and when there sometimes no lunch or dinner
i would have to take charge and prepare food
or how she spends money like water...
and when will my sisters mature?
they will never understand that money doesn't fall from the sky
they will never know that if you don't study hard,your future will be grim
they will never understand the poverty that some people face
they will never understand that the world doesn't cater to them
they will never understand that you can't just around and do nothing and wait for your life to be gone in a flash...
i wish i could be like them,
not understanding all those
hahas,maybe it is my destiny to suffer pain (:

i read everyone's blog today...
tagged some (:
read some class tributes
they were so touching i almost cried...
missed those good old days of 1g
but it seemed like most people are heartbroken
plenty of heartbreaking things are happening,don't you all agreed?
8 out of 10 people i know is heartbroken...
= = " there just so much sadness in this world
but you can't force someone to love,
it takes two hands to clap
just like in a relationship...
it is good enough for me,if i know the person i love is happy now
i don't mind watching him from afar
i don't mind not being the one he happy with,
as long i know he is happy...
it is enough to just keep me hanging on to life
and enough for me to keep smiling

had been having weird dreams for the past 5days
i don't like having them,but if only those dreams will come true
but after having the dreams,i feel very tired
it is like my energy just been drained out from me by having those dreams
it made me very restless...
those dreams are beautiful but i can't explain why i fear going back to sleep,
maybe with more of those dreams...
it will feel like a guy who haven eat food for a long time has just been handed a chicken drumstick,but just as he was about to eat it
the chicken drumstick was snatched out of his grasp once again...
i think i feel that i must stick to the facts of life and i cannot believe these dreams will come true,
because i know they never will come true...

signing out!
samantha

xoxo
1:17 AM

Friday, November 02, 2007

Halloween this year ROCKS!
yea!i also dressed up :))
but i not going put pictures of ME in the blog,only those of my sisters
cause,well...erm...i think my costume is UH...
lols :))

went to Woodlands for the trick and treats
it was teaming with KIDS i repeat KIDS!
well,but i not the only TEENAGER there : 0!
there was plenty of boys TEENAGERS too!
hahas,i just think some boys will never grow up...
sort of like Peter Pan yea?
most of them wear black AND on SKATEBOARDS
black is a cool colour :))

got a bucket full of sweets
and was so tired after walking such a long time
but the costume was great
and some of the houses was really big
some were as big as mansions!
when i grow up,i want to live in such a house :))
how cool it will be!
maybe i can make a horror flick...
but it will be kinda lonely cause i made a decision,
i will remain SINGLE!
power to SINGLE people!
boys or rather guys are so this and that :))
i on a quest of the meaning of life
LOLS,this is so...
you get it?

went to letitia house before halloween!
it was fun :))
REAL FUN!
lols,first we learned our ropes making then we had NUGGETS and FRIES for lunch
sound unhealthy?!
amount of calories equals to = 1000000000000000000000000000000000000
then while oleander and letitia wash the dishes,i go relax
i am so mean!i never help them :))
they shoo us out of the kitchen,hey!
i good in the kitchen eh,mind you!
:)) after that we did the treadmill,since the treadmill was spoiled
the running become manual...
very !@#@$%^%$ cause after 2mins of running the treadmill,we all want to die already
then we went to her house down stair for the fitness playground...
i tell you arh,that we guys very slack!
we did one set of the fitness playground then we all collapse and went to the playground to play instead

took lots of photos :))
aiming to be a professional photographer
i got lot of ambitions one!

today had SEA PROFICIENCY TEST
wah,exams over STILL got test!
if i don't pass,say bye to my promotion to Lance Corporal
2 days to learn everything...
our Sirs last minute last minute teach us...
i think i fail my theory but i pass the practical
practical was easy but i just hate being the last on the NCC(SEA) name list!
theory,my head was aching like mad from thinking
so i just wrote down RUBBISH...
i don't want FAIL!cause it been a long time since i get back a paper with a RED MARK on it...

brought chocolate cupcakes again today
only brought 6 this time round
and that boy ar!
should know who i referring to...
he basically just stuffed it into his mouth
i wonder how he stay lean and slim
envy him :))
i asked him why he eat so much,stay so lean and slim
then he said "no lah,underneath the shirt all fats!"
yea right...

i just hope i pass :))
heard from oleander i got third for whole NA level...
first and second went to people who went to express
i really want bang my head!
cause i got 69.3%
i only 0.7 more% to express!
well,what done is done...
and i am in 2F next year!
that is good news cause 2F is a through training class
that mean basically i don't take N Levels,but i skip directly to O Levels
but still 5 YEARS!
:'((

okay,now i going to let photos do all the talking...
my hands are TIRED!


Oleander daydreaming of ??

Why hide your pretty face Rachel?!

Cheese,Nuggets and Fries go well...don't they?!

My mug shot of the french fries :)) with the help of the flash!

Chicken nuggets,yumyum!although quite oily and tasteless...

chicken nuggets brand

letitia looks so cute!

the organ in her house...I WANT A PIANO!

puff!huff!HELP!!

the cup of drink which is PESPI!with lunch duh!

lady pushups!

you can do it girl!

chatting perhaps?

fit ladies!

two ladies,two monkeys!

WWE??

i am going to commit suicide!

oops,such a bad jumping pose!

RAHRAH!all ready to fight!

ready,get set,GO!

first attempt at monkey bars!

human pyramid...it hurts just to take a picture of this

Rachel monkey bars attempt

playing a game...i was just a photographer getting on every one's nerves

smile at the camera!

score one for emilyn!

my outlook on the world around me

cute lil bird

what a child!

tired oleander...

SWINGS!

they gathered round the cats...

I HATE CATS,okay...
i don't discriminate against cats but i don't like strays
they might have fleas,and later pass on to my dogs
i am picky,i know :)) so i just left it alone


Andrea and Megan with a fellow witchling!

xoxo
9:32 PM

Friday, October 26, 2007

no picture of me :))
that's good!
i was absent on that day...
luckily they didn't put names like they did in the class photo
because what if my mother looked and then she see william name...

i wasn't really that sad when emilyn told me the truth yesterday
it felt like there was a heavy burden lifted from me...
but i don't know why,when i woke up today
i sat up in bed and then it just hit me,
a overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness
then i just cried and cried

yesterday was pretty fun,
i brought cupcakes for about more than half the class
i had to wear my No.3 uniform yesterday cause we had a parade
arrived in school late and me,em and oleander was rushing
it was pretty boring the few moments while sitting in the auditorium doing nothing...
siew rong slept,hahas!
in the hall,he also fell asleep...
when i told rachelk that,she laughed

after the school day end,in which basically everyday,we went opposite to eat lunch
me and em went to the hawker centre first...
we put our bags at the table,
then we saw william and his friends
and there were no more empty tables in the hawker centre
except for two empty tables on both side
...
they sat at the table beside us and i was like "can we please change table?"
but in the end,i didn't
met rachel,alyssa and xiu wei and then we all had lunch
then we wanted some drinks so we went to the drinks stall
i knew william was there but i surprised myself that day when i finally dared to face him
and emilyn was beside me saying "don't care about him,remember *name undisclosed* instead...remember that you don't like william anymore!"
so i just brought my drink :))

after the ncc(sea) rehearsal today,in which i got the photos...
me,em,rachel,oleander and letitia went opposite to the swings,
there we proceeded to play with the sand at the playground
while they were playing,i went to the swings
i thought for quite a while then i went back to play with sand

made a heart shaped sculpture...
then em,oleander,lit and rachel went to play the swings
and i continued making
after a long long while of making the heart,
i realised that love was like the heart...
it was never perfect and there would always be imperfections no matter how i tried
there was this little girl watching me make the sculpture
i thought then that people was already admiring my heart,but i still tried to hide the imperfections...
tried to modify the heart into a perfect sculpture
but everything in life isn't perfect
there would always be cracks,holes and wounds
i had tried too hard and the result was that the heart came crumbling down
i told myself then that i wouldn't make the same mistake like what i did just now,
i would accept life as it comes and take it in my stride slowly,day by day
i would not rush into things,
i would not try too hard,
i would try to accept the imperfection that comes along with everybody,everything
i would learn to see the bright side of life
after the sculpture crumbled,i bounced to the swings enlightened...
emilyn told oleander,lit and rachel who she like already,not Eagle but someone else :))

may everything go as you wish,em
may he love you back with all his heart
but even if he does reject you,
tell yourself...
that it's all part of life
this is just the imperfection of life
and that you will continue on,
with that smile of yours
that loveliness of yours
and then one day,
may a guy
who will loves you for who you are,
even your imperfections,
take you into his arms,and say "i love you..."

xoxo
9:03 PM

Thursday, October 18, 2007

GOOD NEWS!!
*drum roll......................*

EXAM RESULTS!
English: 68 and a half
Maths: 74
Science: 64
Art: 72
Home Ecos: 83
Geography: 80

technically i got highest in Geography for the whole N(A) level!
they actually said the people in each class who got distinction and then they announce the name for the highest in N(A) level...
me and emilyn was arguing,she said i would be the highest and i retorted back "NO!"
i almost made a bet with her,luckily...if not i had to do something dumb!

home ecos!i got 36/40 for my practical!it goes a long way!4 marks more...she only minus 4 marks for my cooking!
she very good :))
i got A1!
happy :))

my english grade have dropped!real bad...normally i get seventy plus!
joel tham fu min won me,arh!that's a loss of face!
because my oral very bad...
especially the conservation,i lousy at talking to strangers
she ask me something,then i keep going "huh!"
i cannot hear her clearly
then she ask me "name one ELDER person you admire,"
i go name my mother cause i thought she said "name me one OLDER person you admire"
...badly failed!

i was so surprised at how much i improved in my maths!
when i got the paper back,i saw 82...
i was like oh my god!
but it is actually 82/110!
lols,but i got 74%
i really have improved!
my maths always passing grade if i pass...

art was easy!easy!just minus one for not completing my preparatory work...lols!

science never minus marks!i thought IR would minus 10% off total marks!
they never minus...woot!

luckily i never fail three subjects,if not my parents have to go see mrs chan!
then i wouldn't be able to get my report book!
on tuesday get back :))

but overall,i am happy with my results
and Heng Wee Siang!
you surely go express one!

xoxo
4:16 PM

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

last friday went to VivoCity...
had lots of fun :))
first we went to eat at the food court,
the non-halal one was so crowded!
after some disagreements over what to eat,we finally chose the halal food court!
i had lemon chicken rice,which was sadly,not value for money...

then we went to the bear factory,
and we fussed over all the bears and the clothes :))
evelynn then dragged us to buy a bag for lydia for her birthday party...
it would be better if we had the ice cream first,
cause we go harbour front,eat ice cream then come back VivoCity buy bag and play water...
but she was so insistent we buy the bag first,
so we walked a lot,while walking i keep blocking aly,evelynn and em from walking
i don't dare do rachel cause she will whack my head
and she was also talking to aquila
after that we had some ice cream from MacDonald's
rachel said i ate like a little girl...
we talked about that time when govind treated us to ice cream after the movies...
govind brought for rachel,me and em 3 Mac Flurries worth $2.50 while he and william themselves take 50cents ice cream!
after that me,em and rachel went to the toilet
hahas,
aquila don't want put the phone down so he and rachel talked in the toilet
then me and em was like saying rachel and aquila together better then siewrong and her
so we kept making fun,
while rachel was in the toilet,
we ran back to MacDonald's but halfway we went back and waited for rachel :))

then we walked all the way back to VivoCity to play the water
took alot of pictures and i wanted to take four of us so we asked a boy to do it,
we all don't dare ask then we keep pushing it to one another until i finally went to ask the boy, then we all giggle and took the photo
saw a couple hugging :))
then rachel say i envious
i not envious!
i just busybody!
lols,after that we waded back to our spot and sat down to talk
then i was sitting beside aly and i accidentally splashed water all over her!
lols,so her blouse was all wet,i said sorry many times!
then i lend her my extra t-shirt
i the only one with a extra set of clothes
evelynn went home after this as she wanted go orchard
finally dried,
we went to toys r us when we walked into the animal alley,
someone stopped us and said we cannot bring bag in
so we were confused as many other people was walking around bringing bags in
then we walked to the entrance and saw some teenagers handing their bags to the toy r us man so we said ohh!
then we handed all our bag over and he gave us a lil card with a number...
we went back to the animal alley and we saw a boyfriend buy for his girlfriend a bear
then i asked rachel,whether if siew rong gave her that,what will she do?
lols,
after that we went to the halloween section which we saw a lot of wigs and masks and hats!
we had fun trying on the wigs except emilyn cause she thought it was silly
then rachel put on the alien mask and we laughed :))
we all also tried the witch hats and took a photo

it was late so we had to go home soon,
so we was about to go home when we saw rachel cousin...then she went to say hi to her aunt...
then her aunt was at the playground so we had some fun...
it was really fun especially the uh...turning one,i don't know how describe
after that aly said why not go to the adidas shop and play?
then we went and it was real fun!
first we play snakes and ladders,which rachel won,then me,followed by emilyn
rachel lucky,cause she land on a spot which said advance to 100!
me is i five more spaces to land on 100 and when i threw the dice,i really got 5!
yahoo!
then we play the football thing,i don't know how describe
but it is not real football but you hold the handle and you turn it,then the players will turn... it was fun :))!
whoever i partner (cause we keep changing partners),we will win!
cause i had days of practices as my condo downstairs have the same exact thing
i should had partner aly or emilyn in the last round
cause rachel was betting...
if she lose,
she would had to hug siew rong
i said i would purposely lose
then she say cannot,if not she won't hug...
i should have partner aly or emilyn!

then it was getting real dark,
so we went to the Vivo Mart and aly brought sushi
while Rachel brought Timeout
i no money and then we all went to the MRT while i went to my bus stop...
arrived home pretty late
but i had lot and lot of fun!

THE END of 12 October 2007!


Rachel,Em and Me

Aly looks so cute!

this was when the boy took the photo for us!he can be professional?

Em,Aly and Rachel

Em,Aly and Me

Guess who the alien? Rachel,you are caught on camera!

Pink haired!Naruto!Elvis!

The four witchlings!Watch out!We are going to cast a spell on you!

Devil VS Witchlings!

xoxo
6:45 PM

Monday, October 08, 2007

I hate getting food cravings!
especially since this house is so devoid of yummy food that it make me go crazy...
i just eaten dinner plus ice cream and now i feel like eating chocolate!
argh...imagine the delicious chocolate!

when my food cravings comes,
i just try to ignore them and focus on other stuff
but today,i was so bored and lonely that now my mind is screaming "WHERE'S MY CHOCOLATE!"

lonely and bored...
there a plate of dumplings in front of me but somehow,when i look at it
i don't feel like eating but my stomach feels like a BOTTOMLESS PIT!
i don't even know what i want!

i can't wait for exams to be over,
maths paper was a lil easy,
tomorrow gets to come home early cause i don't have to take the chinese paper 2
the benefits of being exempted from chinese...

just finished reading Apache "A girl warrior" and Mao's Last Dancer (Li CunXin)
both was touching :))
i wished i could have the same inner strength like Li CunXin
the fire to fight for what he desire
if only i could be like him...

lonely and bored...
the days are so endless,
i wish i could do something
anything...
to satisfy my desires

it's not that bad,
the pain...
i just close my eyes ,
while the smooth blade just cut one smooth line across my wrist
and i open my eyes...
and then it just come as a relief to see the blood trickling out
and then i want more,
to see all the hatred in me flow out

then i would just sit there,on my bed...
a moment of peace to myself
reflecting on my feelings and thoughts
what have i done?
i know it is so wrong but that feeling of seeing the blood trickle down my arm
it is so...
i can't describe it

i am feeling so lonely,
i want to call max
but we are not a couple anymore,so i can't bring myself to burden him anymore...

i don't even know the reason why i cut myself...
is it because of william?
is it because of my family?
is it because of my loneliness?
is it because i feel so sad?

xoxo
9:52 PM

Sunday, October 07, 2007

english paper 2 and maths paper 1 tomorrow :))
am doing my art exam preparation work now...
my sister just slammed her door at me cause i didn't lend her my phone charger
well...i am just mean sometimes :))

went swimming earlier on with Stefanie,Benjamin,Kevin and Andrea
fun!i had a good workout and is now feeling so energised and well HUNGRY!
hahas :))
swimming with them very fun,we did funny faces underwater
it's so nice to be a child again...

i am so mad with my family
i have to study you know!
doing the art research on computer...
i need peace and quiet...

i need to murder someone!!
my sister,tomorrow PSLE Science exam still can't be bothered to go and study
i do hope she go N(T)!!

xoxo
7:14 PM

Friday, October 05, 2007

exams this week...
yesterday,first exam of the week
English Paper 1 and Geography
!@#$%^&*(!@#$34
i think i am really going to fail Geography!
it was so difficult the paper...
almost cried while doing cause there were so little time to do the paper
i do until the last minute

English Paper 1 was easy :))
the compo i wrote was "My Best Friend"
and informal letter rocks!
cause it is write about "Your CCA"
i had such a fun time writing that...
there was so many things i had to write about NCC(SEA) that i filled 2 pages of which 4 sides was used
you must think i'am insane

and now you would ask me why am i not in school yet?!
hahas,today is Chinese Compo and Science...
i exempted from Chinese so i don't need go school for the first half
i just need to reach school lastest 10:45am to do my Science paper
give me more time to sleep and revise Science
hahas :))

Wednesday after school,i went to the bear factory in Vivo City...
Vivo City will always remain special to me :))
cause of a outing i had there last time
okay,back to the point!
i made two bears which were really kinda expensive
one bear was white with a bit pink and the other was white with a bit blue,
so you can kinda guess one is girl one is boy!
had a fun time dressing them up
and the end i choose the wedding costume :))
next time,i take a picture and show ya!

well,i have to leave for school soon
and for those who receive my sms you know what i mean :))
anyway for those who never receive,

Break a leg for the exams tomorrow and you will pass your exams with flying colours :)) if course must also study hard if not,breaking a leg won't help you pass!i will be supporting you,all the way!:)) and remember not to stressed yourself up too much and sleep early tonight so that you will be well rested and have all the energy of superman!

ok... GOOD LUCK people!
and PASS WITH FLYING COLOURS!

:))
signing out,
Samantha!

xoxo
9:10 AM

Monday, October 01, 2007

cried two days ago...
thanks to rachel and william :))
they cheered me up

i can't believe i called him...
i can't believe i talked to him
cheered me up plenty when i heard his voice
like blur sotong,hahas!
sorry for disturbing your sleep...
you sounded real sleepy :))

why i cried?
family matters that all
don't worry,i'm okay now
cutted myself plenty too

i woke up this morning and i thought it was all a dream about me calling him
check my handphone and it was true
gosh...how am i going to face him today morning?!

and tomorrow it is aquila's birthday
i made him a card...soccer ball shape cause he like soccer
then i wrote plenty of nonsense inside
hahas :))

heartbreakingly,
i have fallen,
in love with someone,
who does not love me.
i do not expect,
for you to love me back,
i just need you,
to talk to me,
i want you to feel,
i want you to see me,
the way that you would,
when you love someone.

when I first saw you,
i fell in love with you,
right away.
i did not mind,
how old you are,
i did not mind,
how many gray hair,
you had,
i did not mind,
how many leaves,
that had fell down,
that autumn days,
when we walked together,
all I cared was you.

today,
i do not care,
what people say,
i do not care,
what life has ahead for me,
what time has ahead,
for the both of us.
i only want to be with you,
i only want you,
to love me,
is it really hard,
for you to call me,
tell me sweet words,
is it really hard for you,
to love me.

heartbreakingly,
i have fallen in love,
with you,
heartbreakingly,
you never call me,
you never talk to me,
why do I love you,
why do I miss you so much,
when I know,
that you do not love me.

it is not written by me...
but this poem expressed how much i feel right now

xoxo
1:01 AM

Saturday, September 29, 2007

my day was OKAY...
:)
:(

i went out today with em(emilyn),rachk,xiuwei and alyssa
we were supposed to meet up in front of FMSS...
but i was as usual LATE
lols,so i meet them at the bubble tea shop
em having lunch cause she haven't eaten

they laughed at me!
cos i told them i wearing PJS
lols,i fed up of going out clothes so i wear a big white t-shirt which used to be Max
it's super big...lols
and i wore lblack leggings

then we walk to dover heights
i was the slowest in walking lols
and we took a lot of pictures :))
funny = DD
we tried doing lots of ridiculous poses
then we waited for the boys

arzan first to arrived...
then he keep running away cause he very shy
lols :))
aquila never came at ALL!

watched rk,alyssa and xiu wei play football with the guys
then me and emilyn very distracted
we supposed to be studying geography
then i keep looking at them playing
and i was so envious of rk for being so close to william
sister and brother
it so not fair!
then alyssa thought i cried...
= = "

i like saturdays already
if only could go dover heights every saturday
lols...my mother almost suspect i got boyfriend
cause yesterday i keep changing clothes to see what to wear for tml
then she say you meeting boyfriend arh!
i said "no,i go study only!"
true what :))

had dinner at dover
yumyum!
same noodles again
i always eat the same food...
i'm so boring

came home quite late
and got a scolding from my mother
i wonder why i did i come home so early...
should have stayed out later

HATEHATEHATE!
i want to swap my life!
email me if you want switch your life with mine!

was really angry...

siew rong is awful
he is so mean!
i shaldn't elaborate,but i think arzan better :))
so go for arzan!

hahas,i told emilyn that...
if i didn't like love william
maybe i would have liked arzan
hahas!

HATE
i hate you...
i hate you not,

you are awful
you are MEAN

you have to break her heart
you had to do that
but couldn't you be less hurtful
and couldn't you lower YOUR tone

you are so OUT!

she heard your name...
and she doesn't care any less
maybe deep inside...
she's hurting and putting on a brave front

you had to PLAY her feelings
you had to do just THAT

you are a PLAYER
you are a JERK!

just refering to SOMEONE...
maybe em will know?
the her is not me

:))
love samantha!

xoxo
9:59 PM

Saturday, September 22, 2007

: )) went to play soccer...
didn't play in the end but ended up watching the boys instead...
arrived in school at 4:00pm then waited for aquila
LOL,he super funny...i don't know how he missed the school bustop
we saw him in a bus and the bus drove off already!
rachel called him and yelled at aquila forever (kidding!)

so we waited until we very fed up
then rachel call and scream at him again and then rachel say we go find them better
so we walk all the way to dover heights and sit at the shelter...
then rachel call aquila ask where he is then ended up screaming again so i took the phone from her and told aquila we at opposite Dover Park View
he told us to sit tight and we did...
while waiting,saw some guys playing then me,rachel,emilyn and xiu wei think maybe william and aquila playing with them
in the end...turns out it did!

the new town guy not shuai!
aquila...your taste very bad leh!
when aquila and william arrived...rachel chase them around the court like mad
hahas :))
she was real pissed off with them,and chased them...
aquila was like saying WHAT I DO???????
me,emilyn and xiu wei laughed and laughed
then we study
xiu wei go home very early...
her boyfriend very mean leh,i shaldn't elaborate

early in the game...we trying take pictures of the guys...
lols,then rachel thought i want william photo so go ask aquila take it!
aquila take leh!i don't know whether william know or not x )) but i am going to keep the photo!

rachel played football with the guys and somewhere in the middle of the game...
rachel went up to us and told me,the blue t-shirt guy (we don't his name) ask aquila who william's girlfriend is...
aquila point to me!
*blushed* i not his girlfriend eh...william like BLUR SOTONG!
everything don't know,don't know

was really happy eh :))
then we go for dinner,the guys only drank
then william down there...i very embarrassed
why they keep staring at us while we eat!

they go back play first and then finished dinner
we walked back to school...
on the way,we passed them and rachel and emilyn say bye to william...
he shouted bye to us first
i don't dare bye him...
then rachel! go shout to william "william!samantha say bye to you!"
*strangle rachel!*

lols...then i take taxi and gave them a lift to the buno vista MRT
well,that's my day!
we after exams,do it again okay?
maybe go cycling better...at least i can cycle!

Labels: football, guys, william

xoxo
8:56 PM

today is the lantern festival :))
funn!!

i came back home at around 8pm...wait for the double deck 166 very long!!
so fed up...
and my head was throbbing away

i tell you guys a lil secret okay?
i changed my clothes in the bus :))
WAIT...BEFORE YOU THINK I'M MAD...
of course i didn't change in front of everybody,
i go to the back and sit...then there was nobody behind me,only in front
so i quickly take out my school blouse and put on my sweater

a lil while later...i turn behind,and I SAW A SECURITY CAMERA!
...i was so ashamed...
gee...
that reminds me of the time when SR tried to change in the bus
but he didn't dare to change...
cause we all watching him :))

lanterns festival!
arrived home and i changed,eat dinner,fed the dogs and bring them walk walk...
super fun :))
we play fireworks and also got the whistling fireworks!
then we make alot of noise till security guard came...
heehee...but we continued burning paper lanterns
we all very naughty...
benjamin very pro = )) cause he very good at fire and his science knowledge equals me...
we talk about the air pollution and the amount of CFC released in the air with of our burning :))

i wished i got photos...
then around 11:30 plus,i go wading in the baby pool with my lil sis
fun :)) we splash water each other and then my shorts all wet!

while playing fireworks...i thought of somebody special
i wished i was him and we two would play the fireworks and look at the stars together
then i burned three candles and made a wish on each candle...
one candle for me,emilyn and rachel
i wished we all would find our special someone soon...

:))
it's supposed to be a joyful day!
but...the day is over,
is the start of a new day!

i'm going to meet emilyn,rachel,wiliam,aquila and some other guys today
we are going to cheer them on while rachel play with them :))
so i have to sleep if not i cannot wake up tomorrow!

xoxo
12:12 AM

Monday, September 17, 2007

xoxo
7:30 PM

Saturday, September 15, 2007

xoxo
4:18 PM

Sunday, September 09, 2007

= DD
i just realised my blog is now over a year old!
in fact... 1 year 6 days!

forgotten on the actual day,that my blog turned 1 *blushes*
sorry my dear blog...

Happy Bleated Birthday dear old blog :)

a few words to my blog = DD

when i was sad...
i knew i could count on you,
i knew you would listen,
and you would listen thoughtfully...
unlike others,

when i was happy :)
i knew i could share my happiness with you...
we would both rejoice and celebrate!
and sing a song of joy
lalalalas...

i poured all my feelings into you
never looking back
because i knew...
that you would hold my secrets snug

every moment of pain and fear
every moment of love and happiness
was kept by you
memories that i won't forget...
because of you,
my dear blog

some memories,
i didn't published...
kept it as drafts...
so that i could hold those memories dear and close

some...
which i published,
was always heart-written
and i think you knew that

my dear old blog...
you are like my diary
a place where i can store all my secrets

and i know...
you will defend them with all your heart

and cause i knew...
you would never let me down!
so thanks you blog
for always being at my side

and for helping me to keep my memories dear
thousand thanks,even millions
couldn't express my dedication to you :)

= DD talking to my own blog...
sounds crazy right?
only some will understand :)

signing out!
samantha

Labels: memories held dear :)

xoxo
3:50 AM

Friday, September 07, 2007

hihi everyone!
after a long absence,i'm glad to be writing again!

it's officially over with max
reason?
because i think the feeling is not there anymore and...
i only now regard him as a best friend : DD
luckily he's understanding...
i know he's sad but then he know i don't love him anymore
and you can't force love to happen
so we parted with good feelings
'and we are best friends now

3rd September 2007 Monday

: ))
i went to vivo city after the poetry slam with madam chong
it ended at 9:00 plus
and then we waited for the guys to finish their supplementary
william,siewrong and aqulia finished theirs at 11:00 (i think?)
and govind at 12:00
so we waited 3 hours!!

then at 12:00 plus
william,aqulia go change at william house
and siew rong went to play... sighs! dual master!(correct spelling?)
then me,rk and emilyn go change opposite
we were so long in changing... well,only rk wasn't
lols : ))
emilyn fussed over her long-sleeved t-shirt for being too small
and i fussed over the ribbon cause it keep getting untied

: )) then we went to the bus stop and then william or siew rong ask rk why she dress until so pretty...
me and emilyn was hiding away at the other end of the bustop leh
embarrassing = DD
hahas

then we take bus 166 to vivo
and then... i don't want to explain the rest
cause it's embarrassing
and only william,emilyn,rachel,govind,siewrong and aqulia knows about it
so keep it a secret yea?

= DD

4 September 2007 Tuesday

so today and also tomorrow was the annual ncc(sea) competition
woke up with a queasy stomach
and butterflies flying around
me,emilyn,rk and oleander was participating in the kayaking single girls
: ))
was so nervous...
then keep thinking i was going to capsize
then rk,emilyn chided me
but we came in... 1st!!
it was a thrilling feeling = DD
and the pestdyration high school (i don't know how spell)
they shake hands with me
they say we pro
nice = DD

and i am so silly!
i go pluck the plant leaves (hahas,plant now dying,cause we keep plucking)
then i weave a ring...
and gave to someone who i shaldn't say is
then everyone crazy about the rings already = DD
so embarassing!

Congratulation to
Part A boys single (semi-finals) --> 1ST!
Part A boys double (semi-finals) --> 1ST!
Part B boys single (semi-finals) --> 1ST!
Part B boys single (semi-finals) --> 1ST!
Part A girls single (finals) --> 1ST!

5th September 2007 Wednesday

finals for the boys today
and double for the girls today : ))
we were cheering like mad as usual...
but today i was a bit in a bad mood
= = "
then when mr heng turn to kayaked
guess what?
he capsized
hahas = DD
he told us as long as we don't capsized,we first
then he himself capsized!

the Part A boys wasn't really happy cause they came in 4th,5th or last (i don't know?)
for the doubles...
TKSS was really hard to beat
TK is Tanjiong Katong (am i right?)

but anyways,

CONGRATULATIONS TO
Part A boys single (finals) --> 3RD!
Part A boys double (finals) --> 4TH!
Part B boys single (finals) --> 1ST!
Part B boys double (finals) --> 2ND!
Part A girls double (finals) --> 1ST!

we are very proud of you boys!
next year we must win TK TK!
: ))
next year also got Part C...
and we girls must get gold overall!
okay?!
rahrahrah!!

prize giving got 2 gold medals
monday,they are going to present it to us again
rahrahrah!!

came back late
and mum screamed at me...
said almost called police
= DD
i love making people worry
kidding...

moved house today
and went downstairs at 9:30pm plus
to the mini mart
then me and my sister walking
we saw boys playing football (handsome!)
= DD
here this condominium got a lot of boys
one floor down have a handsome guy living!
...
boysboysboys!!

signing out : ))
Samantha!!


hahas = DD
hyper today!

xoxo
3:52 PM

Sunday, August 19, 2007

:))
had a super duper weird dream today = = "
i can't really remember much of the details, just that it have to do with a lot of spree shopping

i think i went on a shopping spree at balmoral,but it not balmoral leh?
the place so different,but i know it's balmoral cos i took the taxi

then i go buy presents for emilyn
and red roses ??

and i keep go backing to my house and to balmoral plaza in the taxi
and one thing,i keep looking at the meter and my wallet

then i ended up in a playground
then i think i did pt with both my RV friends and FMSS...

then someone found the roses in my bag and asked from max ar?
den i say i buy for emilyn one

and then i woke up!!

...
that dream was really weird
i been having really weird dream but it always get interuppted by my family members
it has either to do with love,friends or monsters and most especially playgrounds!

i last time even dream of my geography teacher mr ren in the playground
and he was teaching us something which i couldn't hear

and then mr lam and mr roy lee my PE teacher now and last time
asking us to climb the pyramid,the rope pyramid
and i got to the top first
and then a accident happened and i don't remember the rest

but today is the weirdest dream i ever woke up from

cos of...
first thing,WHY DID I GO ON A SHOPPING SPREE if i hate shopping so much
second thing,WHY IS MY RV AND FMSS FRIENDS mixed up?
third thing,WHY DID I KEEP WORRING ABOUT MY MONEY AND THE METER IN THE TAXI?
fourth thing,WHY WAS I AT SOME PLACE when i was supposed to be at Balmoral Plaza when i told the taxi driver that where i want to go
fifth thing,WHY DID I BUY RED ROSES FOR NO REASON AT ALL?

and many many more weird things...
== "
i think i am too stressed out
lols :))
and why do my dreams have always have to do with a playground...
i want to know what this dream means

lols :))
signing out

Samantha!!

xoxo
4:31 PM

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

went to the playground opposite my school yesterday :))
so fun, took a lot of pictures
i can't stop laughing
i haven sit a swing for a long time so when i saw the swing yesterday,
i rushed for it...and i just eaten my lunch char kuay teow
almost puked :))
hahas,cos i challenge rachel koh who can go higher...
and guess who won :))

xoxo
11:50 PM

: D i just gone wild today!
ask me why i'm wild?
well... secret!!

just feeling happy
oooolala

i can dance!
i can leap!
i can soar!

you must be thinking
"samantha,must have really gone mad today!"
fear not!
i am still mentally capable : DD

i can't stop smiling!
i can't stop laughing!

now...
"samantha,have really gone overboard!"

it just have to do with love

tsk tsk,you must be saying
when exams are near
and i am still thinking of love!

= DD
it's a light-hearted day today!

tests are near
and yet i am still thinking of love!

okay...
enough of madness : ))
49 more weeks to end of the year exams??
and 2 more weeks of torturing PT!!

i shald hope...
i shald pray//

and I shald win!!

maybe i am so happy today,
is because i am also well-rested!
took a nap : ))
for once,today
i don't need to stay back!
arrived home...
in a long long time
at 3:00pm!

have been thinking back!
about my posts...
hmmm,how long since i haven put up pictures??
and i am so long-winded = DD

back to serious thoughts!
just a thing i would like to point out...
IS MY TEACHER READING MY BLOG?!

i will faint...
if any teacher dares READ my blog

be warned...
teachers!
for if you touch my blog...
i set a demon,
upon you

better fear,
for the demon...
is the darkness
that will sallow you up

and no matter,
how strong...
your faith,
NOTHING
can overcome...
this darkness of mine!

roar!! = DD
i been saying craps too many times already
crabs crap
i don't know where i pick it up from :))

maybe should put password...
but blog password are very easy to hack into
if only,i was a IT expert = DD
that be cool!
shald ask my dad...
but later,he also want know my URL
i know!
i shall ask donovan :))
just hope he know

ACCESS TO THIS BLOG IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN TO TEACHERS!

my mum don't know...
my blog URL,
and if she was to find out...
i would be so so dead!

it's my hoard of secrets = DD
but the darkest of my secrets...
are somewhere safe!

it's is in...
...
...
...
...
...

my mind!
hahas = DD

just realise,
i haven use hahas for a long time
so...
i'm pleased to use it today!

serious thoughts again!
...

thoughts about cutting your wrists...
or maybe more like your arms??
*sarcastic tone*

it a stupid thing to do...
you may not think so,
it may feel nice,
it may feel relieving
but it's still a stupid thing to do

life is short,
cherish it...
even though,
the world may seem against me
even though...
i feel like darkness is enveloping me

there is always...
a tiny glitter of hope,
maybe...
even,
a tiny speck of hope
it may not be too late,
do stop it...
before that hope is gone

okayy...
before i sound like i am preaching
and sounding like a priest or whatever you may think

just THINK!

for some who knows
what i did...

okayy!
i did that same stupid thing before!

i went for counselling,
all because!
i told my teacher in my journal...
that teacher was my hope

anyone in 6F know Mrs Wendy Ong?
that's her...
i don't know,
who told my mum...
maybe it is her
but i am glad she did it
i was primary 3 when i did it

maybe,she was a godsend
maybe...
she was that tiny speck of hope
i am just glad...
i told someone sensible

how shall i say it??
i don't know
but i just know,
it's not something to be proud of

i don't...
just cut my wrists,
and show my friends

i don't...
just smile
and pretends,
that life doesn't suck!

i don't...
show if off,
because of bravado

it's a matter of why i want to cut my wrists?
do i and you do it because of depression?
do i and you do it because of hatred?
do i and you do it because of love?
or...
do i and you do it because of coolness?

you may think...
that you and i did it because of depression...
that you and i did it because of hatred...
that you and i did it because of love
or that you and i did it because of coolness

i thought i did it... because of my family

but the actual fact is...
that you and i are plain dumb,
i didn't mean to be so direct
but that is the fact

seeing that trickle of blood
may make me feel relieved
just for that one moment...

think of the consequences,
every one drop of my blood wasted
could save the life of someone
it's the gift of life

think of the ugly scar that remains,
it may heal...
yes,it might
but...
that be a scar left in your heart
and that...
will never heal
you know who you are
serious thoughts are over...

okay = DD
it is 12:44am and...
WHAT AM I DOING STILL AWAKE AT THIS HOUR!
:))
i think i am gonna fall asleep tomorrow

i am going crazy!
i am going mad!
cos the more i think!
the more i want!

= DD
i think some people know what i am referring to

it is too hard to keep it a secret
but for once :))
i am going to keep this a secret
zip my mouth!

if i say it out...
i will die of embarrassment
*turns red*

a clue = DD
have to do with love!

no questions asked please!
= DD

lalalas

am i being too long-winded again?
hahas = DD

tsk tsk!
i am going to do my homework...

signing out!
on a more serious note...

sincerely
Samantha

hahas = DD !

xoxo
11:50 PM

Thursday, August 09, 2007

In honor of Singapore 42th Birthday today....
wordings shall be red,

3rd August 2007

*sighs*
being late so many times the past few weeks...
it is just you or my body clock?
i miss you so much...
i don't know...
i can't stop thinking of you

founder day was late too//
i was really upset at myself for being late
heart pumping,i went to school
expecting to be booked

was really relieved,when i didn't get booked
so i went up to the hall
and walked over to where my class was sitting
imagine my surprise,
when all the seats were filled
but...hey!thanks you,Joel...for giving your seat up to me
it was really nice of you to do that to me :))

emilyn told me that Princess Jean (her name) who won so many awards
for being first in many subjects
used to be in normal academic
imagine,
how hard Princess Jean must have worked
to get to express and ended up being first in her level

i hope i can get to express...
but,it is unlikely

the founder day celebration
ended at 9:45
but i had NCC(SEA) at 12:45
so me and the cadets played during the three hours...
too lazy too elaborate what mischief we got up too...

when NCC(SEA) started
we didn't go kayaking at Sembawang
but we went dragon boating at Kallang River!
it was so fun...
nicer than kayaking
and we could rock the boat

we also won the secondary 2 in the race
they looked really upset when we won them
cos they were suppose to win us
but it wasn't fair to them

cos we have 21 people whereas
they had 12
of course we win...
but they were supposed to be stronger then us
mr ow didn't really look happy...

anyways!
CONGRATULATION Part B cadets
for winning the semi-finals
gogo!!

5th August 2007 (maybe??)
days are jumbled up...

monday...was late as usual
we had physical training for the NCC(SEA) competition
tiring = = "
but after that,we went opposite to play
was very hungry
but i had no money

go opposite for fun :))
with Emilyn,Rachel,Oleander,Letitia,Randall,Hubert and a whole lot of other boys
it was very funny :))
cos i got a extra dollar, and i didn't know what to spend on
then i see the turn turn thing
for one dollar
and the machine said a toy rat will come out

i wanted scare the guys
but oleander found out and the rest of the guys were still so oblivious
then the rat came out...
i touched it and screamed
cos the thing very gooey
so oleander also tried to pick it up from the machine slot
and also screamed
we two laughed and laughed
then she quickly take the thing and hid it behind her back
cos the guys were all looking already
they were so curious
so we quickly hid from then and went up the staircase
we then put the rat near the railing
and then it became stuck!
like gooey...

very scary!
oleander tried to pick it up
but when she tried to pick it up,
the thing lower body was still sticking to the wall
cos very gooey and very hard to come out
luckily hubert too curious went up the stairs and helped us

by the time,me and oleander cannot stop laughing away
then hubert went down and showed the rat to the rest of the guys
randell took it from hubert and take the tail and swing it round and round
trying to scare
then he threw it up the walkway roof
and it got stuck there

and...it looked like dung
and we laughed even more :))

after that i go sit at the baby machine swing
beside 7-11
you know the one where put 50cents
and then it will go round and round?
then randall go sit inside
and acted like a baby
we already laughing too much
we wanted put money but there was no power for the machine
so we didn't put
we also took a video of randall :))

he really a clown!
:))
rachel koh took to calling him daddy
well,for me...
i don't like calling people daddy or mummy
except for korkor,jiejie or meimei
that is okay...

8 August 2007

we had this "so-called" amazing race around Singapore
it had to do with "Rediscovering our roots"
i partner Emilyn and 2 other secondary 4 guys
wilfred and zhong sheng

they were so funny in the mrt train
but not fair!
not enough time to complete
only 3 hours

went to singapore polytechnic,
queenstown,changi airport
we were late arriving back in school
so were many others
and the winners of the amazing race
were all from 1E and 4B...
they play cheat maybe??

anyway it was tiring running around
but also very fun
the concert wasn't very good
our principal and vice principal
the singing wasn't erm...
very good
same as me = ="

after that,i went opposite to have lunch with jiaqi
the fishball vermicelli soup was very nice
yumyum :))

sad...
no holidays for us NCC(SEA) cadets!
cos we still got NCC on friday,saturday and sunday
from 8:30am to i think 5:00pm
not sure...i tell you guys about it tomorrow...
depends whether i am too tired or not :))
i hope we learn sailing too!
at kallang river :))

...
i am moving to thomson road
the house is okay,but with no garden...
smaller but the neighbours have many dogs
i am sure charlie,tommy and harry will be so happy there :))

time really seems to fly...
it now more than half the year
we be moving to secondary 2 soon
i wonder how life will be like?

Max wrote a letter to me...
it was so touching that i cried//
i don't know...
that the answer

Hit been 139 days with you...
Adifferent feelings have surfaced within me,
Psome sad,
Psome happy...
Ywill we always be together?
i don't know
4but whatever is it,
2 you know i love you
Tthroughout difficult times
Hthroughout the amazing times
for love was always there
Bcan we stay together?
Ithat's a question
Rfrom the very depth of my heart
Tour heart have always been linked together
Hthroughout this period of time
Dfrom our very first day
Atill forever
Ymaybe we will have fights
maybe we will cry
Sbut what i know is that,
Ii 'll never forget your smile...
Ncos you have always been in my mind
Gand i had gone to bed,
Aevery night
Pthinking of you'
Oyou had always spared a thought for me
Rno matter,how upset you were
Ewritten by max
!
!

Labels: a hidden letter

xoxo
11:50 AM

Friday, July 27, 2007

not so happy today
or maybe happy?

i duno...
i made a big mistake today

you see,today we did grouping for maths
and each group have a question to solve
we got question number 1
so it was real easy cos question number 1 is always da easiest
so we did 1a,1b and 1c
in 5mins
Mr Quek gave us 20mins

during the other 15minutes,
my group members who were Emilyn,Rachel,Jia Qi and Nicolette
we drew on the big sheet of paper Mr quek gave us
and when we present,it was really bad...
shaldn't want talk about it :(

kayaking today was OKAY...
the first part,i felt like tearing my hair out
it is AGAIN turning and turning ad turning and TURNING!
i love going STRAIGHT!
but then Mr Heng taught us this skill
and it turn out perfect for us!
:))
now we aren't the last anymore

I hate Chinese remedial...
after the Chinese remedial,i have to rush for NCC!
sigh!
I am going to get exempted soon!
maybe only = = "
i do so wish!

3 days ago,i cooked claypot chicken as a practice for my upcoming home ecom practical exam
it was delish!
but add a bit too much water
still working on the desert...
it still wouldn't set!

this sunday,emilyn coming to my house and we gonna practice together!
i wish i had emilyn for a partner!
sing mei is just too lazy to come and carmen who is emilyn partner is the same!
birds of the same feather do stick together!
i wish my mum had put my name into the register as koh an qi samantha
then wouldn't it be nice?
instead of lousy number 31!

on the day after i cook da claypot chicken
we went for shooting test!
i was so worried as i didn't went for shooting practice before as i burned my hand on the day before the practice!
so i sit in the air conditioned room with the rest of ncc sea
and wonder how am i going to pass when i don't even know how to hold the rifle
luckily a guy came and said who never went shooting before
so i raise my hand and got exempted!

emilyn is SOSOSO dumb!
aiyo,cos i never go da shooting
emilyn was a actually number 4,me number 3 and rebecca number 5
i never go,emilyn took number 3 and rebecca number 4
the shooting test got 1 cadet helping you position properly the rifle
then number 3 the person who helping was a damn handsome guy :))
and number 4 a fat guy who didn't seemed nice

that handsome guy helped emilyn
and guess what?
emilyn like him!
i was giggling away watching emilyn and that guy
cos Mr Heng ask me go observe

when we came out of that room...
and da room was in da dark
so i couldn't really see the guy face properly
i just know he looks handsome cos can see abit

me and rachel go bug emilyn point to out where that guy sitting
and then emilyn delay and delay and only told us when that guy and his school is getting on their bus!
say earlier!!
then i can go help you ask the number!!
emilyn was so upset that she missed such a good opportunity
but according to emilyn,
that guy was very friendly and kind

i agree so
cos when their bus was leaving the guy and his partner wave to us!
then we wave back
and then their whole bus wave back!
lols :))

hopefully we can meet that guy and his school in the ncc sea kayaking competition again!
and i would KILL emilyn if she miss that opportunity again
i was so glad i didn't go for shooting cos if not emilyn would have gotten the fat guy!

yesterday we did orienteering
don't know what on august 8
go run around whole Singapore like da amazing race
the aim is to help us understand Singapore better
and we have to pay for transport leh!

each team have 4 people
2 girls,2 boys
each class will have a class to partner with
so that mean 2 students must be from one class and the other 2 from the class that you are partnering
obviously i partner emilyn

sec 1 classes have to partner with sec 4 or 5 classes
we got 4D? i think'
sec 2 partner sec 3
...
we rather partner sec 2!
our ncc cadets there!
so embarrassing lar
anyway,brandon and joey was the first one to be chosen by the sec 4 girls
they all fighting for brandon
well brandon is cute!
and he also ncc sea leh : ))

our sec 4 partners came to us
obviously have to be 2 boys right?
they was pretty funny
their name are wilfred and zhong sheng
then wilfred called us his angels with a halo
lols...

kinda sad today
shaldn't elaborate

lots of loves i hate trying to choose
but i am confused
maybe we should take a break
cos now my heart is torn into two
p.s i got highest for geography!
wasn't really happy anyway : ( marks are low
i think only me and jlee pass

xoxo
10:34 PM

Sunday, July 22, 2007

teehee :))
wanted change blog skin,but well...
too lazy
just finish the last harry potter book last night at 3:30am
only started reading at 12:00am
it was real nice!
but the ending not as teary as the Half-Blooded Prince
it was nevertheless it was nice

i like like the part...
0h well,shaldn't spoil the surprise for those who haven read!
i dying to say it loud

but it was funny someway
and the ending before the epilogue was a little hard to understand
and i had to read it a few times before i could finally understand what it means
anyway i was very surprised about this "special someone"
he wasn't a traitor
: ))

many people died and each time i go "this the main character that died?"
shaldn't elaborate
was a bit disappointed by the ending though
i just wish someone else would die
it kind of kill the tension of the ending
nonetheless i am half-half
abit glad that person didn't die
but i wonder how different the ending if was that "person" also died
well...that would be an different epilogue

so...i am a bit mixed-up about my feelings
but i am still glad i brought the book!

my hardcover copy is not the cartoon one,just that you know!
it the one with the necklace
i like the dark one nicer :))

a excellent plot anyway
a creative mind JW Rowling have
i'm thoroughly impressed...
how many authors can think up a excellent plot which capture the hearts of millions around the globe
if the last movie comes out,
i think it's be a sellout!

i still hoping there be another book from JW Rowling
i was sad knowing this was the end of the series which i gr own up with
KUDOS TO JW ROWLING FOR CREATING SUCH A EXTRAORDINARY BOOK AND A EXCELLENT ENDING!
it leave a kind of pondering over the ending...
which makes the reader wonder
anyway talked too much abt the book already = ="

it nearly the end of July already
the time seems to pass by in a blur
i don't wanna grow up but yet i do
it seems scary
it almost the end of the term
and another year will begin
but let us face the courage
and take a step forward

think positive!
think cheerful!

i am happy to say i been doing my homework :))
well except,for Chinese and life skills!
those two are my most detest subjects
i can't even sleep,draw,write or talk during Chinese class
mok lao shi have a eye fixed on me
help!someday i wanna sleep

= = "
i i still remember the time i first met you
i still remember the time when i first got you as a neighbour
i still remember the time when i first played with you
i want to rewind back to the time
the time when i first met you
moving in
first saw you living next door
surprised at your invitation to play
this was the days

ah! I CAN'T STOP THINKING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
*bang head against wall*

it almost 4months
but years since i met you
years since we were kids
years since we were neighbours

here i go again!
better stop writing
!@#$%$%$

lots of love

xoxo
7:40 PM

Saturday, July 14, 2007

xoxo
11:06 PM

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

tuesday,chapel was boring
read a crime book (Kathy Reich)
about the murder of 3 young girls
who was totured,raped,abused and kept away from the world a few years
found dead under a pizza palour,
2 was in the fetal positon and 1 of them was in a box,wrapped up by a blanket
finished chapel and chinese teacher came
to confisate my book (whatever?)

chinese lesson,she took out the book
and started leturing about rules (who cares?)
chapel is so boring,and shouldn't they give free periods to the people who don't believe in God instead of making them listening to the preaching?
suggestion box comes and i will suggest that.


wednesday
fell asleep in chinese class today
i am overworked
tons of homework!

lost my temper at my family
managed to complete homework
book reviews haven done
i wanna sleep but i can't
tossing.turning in bed

maths tuition was good today and funny too...
i can't wait for tomorrow and continue the sketch on my flowers in art class
geography,teacher called me again
after school,i was at the locker outside my form classroom.
Mr Ren (Geo teacher)was inside and he called me.
so I was like huh huh? you call me? so i keep hesitating.
then i went inside and there was a few people from other class getting scolded.
Mr Ren turned to me and asked me about my hand (whether its was okay?)
asked me this question too also
he asked whether has my class (1g) been scolded by him before?
i again hesitate cause i don't remember our class getting scolded.
and he was looking at me so expenctly to say the correct answer.
so i said "um,i don't think our class been scolded before"
then he looked at me safisated
i rushed out (scary!)

chinese class was as usual (BORING)
= = "
fell asleep while sitting upright on my chair
wonder how i did it anyway

went to the NUH again for checkup on my hand.
missed NCC again
the doc said it was okay except for the 2nd finger.
shaldn't elaborate

anyway,other then being depressed,tired,bored,angry,frusated and fed up
i am okay...

Depressed

i wanna cut,
i wanna cry
for i am so sad

i can't say why
but its breaking my heart

it has nothing to do with him
it has nothing to do with YOU

i wanna cut,
i wanna cry
but i can't

because of you

you held me tight
when i broke down
you were pained

i could see
the pain in your eyes
i could see
the disappearing smile

i want these back
i want me back

i can't be another person
but i wanna be me

i don't wanna hide
i don't wanna cry

i am in a black hole
sucking me deeper
i want to show my joy,
my feelings and love

but...

i not myself
i am not myself

i have to find
the true soul
and until them
the sparkle begone

Labels: Depressed

xoxo
10:06 PM

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

50th POSTS ANNIVERSARY!!
well,just to start things off on a good note : ))
as you guys can READ,this is the 50th post!!
so going to make it special ; ))
lalalalas...
keep your eyes open

ermmm
don't know how start...
let see...
anyways,
today i watch 100 POUNDS BEAUTY
they shouldn't call it a comedy
more like a romantic tear jerker
made me cry
*sniffs*
it's about a girl who fat and ugly was humiliated by a guy she love.
becos the guy think she only a "product" for the beautiful ammy.
so the girl hanna, blackmail a guy who is married and a plastic surgery doctor.the guy had phone sex with hanna so hanna threaten to show the wife a recording of the phone sex.then the doctor agree and hanna "disappear." ammy was in trouble because w/o hanna,she couldn't release her 2nd album.after many surgery,i think for over a year hanna finally was beautiful and slim.the doctors and nurses went WOW,and i frankly went WOW too : ))
i not going explain the whole thing
waste time...
anyways,the movie show that you doesn't have to beautiful to be in love,you just have to be yourself.your TRUE self...

my camp is over!!
but i miss the routine...
the last day was especially fun
in fact,everyday was FUN!!
the 1st and 2nd day,i was homesick lar...
not like RV so crazy and mad
NCC people not that crazy
ranjie cannot believe i in NCC lar
he thought i NCC LAND!!
CHOI!!
anyways we had to kiss a dummy!
....
lucky got plastic face shield for everybody
like as each person get one
then perform CPR
then we put our plastic sheet on the dummy and kiss the mouth
kinda weird...
the plastic taste weird : ))
then the exam day was on friday,
my camp was on tuesday
they say the examiner very SCARY one...
not scary lor
he so kind
let the whole class pass!!
3 CHEERS FOR HIM!!
then my turn come,i have to do CPR with the dummy
got 2 dummies,so the teacher sit on a chair between the dummies
then brandon take the other dummy and we must both do at the same rate...
brandon screw up BIG TIME
then the examiner was like
"see the girl beside you do so well...press harder and blow properly"
LOLS
he keep saying
then in the end the girls all do better...
we got 8 girls and 20 boys : ))

sleeping arrangement is one room for boys and one for girls
in a classroom lar!!
lucky we only got 8 people
so alot of space!
imagine the boys

the first day we did PT ( PT is Physical Training )
then have to run 10 rounds around the school track
i was like? WHAT!!
I walk all the way : ))
you know how big is one round?
don't know but it was exhausting
anyways the 2nd time i did ( also 10 rounds)
i could manage to jog the 10 rounds instead of walking
the 3rd time was 25 ROUNDS!!
this time i jog till 15 rounds,walk 2 rounds and jog more then another 15 rounds...
cos everybody haven finished then i dun want be the first one finish...
i jog till the rain come

cos samuel ( he's fat )
shouted at the sky and ask for rain to come
then really come leh!!
WEATHERMAN!!
i can also do 20 push ups,50 sit ups ( legs in air ),50 jumping jacks,10 pull ups in 1omins
good improvement lor!!

the 2nd day we went kayaking...
emilyn fell sick ( but came back next morning )
with the GB girls ( GB is Girl's Bridge)
so we suppose to be their teacher for that day,
then dunno how come everything got messed up,but we didn't even teach them...
i paired up with rachel because emilyn not here
she so bossy
i was in the front seat
so we had some practice and ate lunch
then more practice...
finally the big GB race was on!!
we suppose follow them slowly then when teacher give signal we can paddle ahead of them
anyways teacher chose a few people to kayak in singles
and i went on the ferry cos i don't like to kayak in single
so fun!!
got 2 ferry,3 ncc cadets on each ferry
i went with chester on his boat
rachel,keith and me was on chester boat together with one of the gb teacher and another instructor.
on the way back,one girl gave up so rachel took over the girl ( the gb was in double)
rachel was at the front...
further back,suddenly a girl had a asthma attack
then she was like gasping for air
another double came and gave the signal of emergency...
so chester act cool go speed over
then the gb tacher gave the girl her inhaler...
and the girl scared to do again so i had to took over!
SIGH!!
i want sit the ferry...
lazy paddle
cos so tiring one
then we paddle back lor
but then i realise not tiring one leh!
normally very tiring for me but now i like got superpower...
then we sit the bus back
halfway,the bus stopped at the side of the highway
the engine stalled
so we waited for over a hour
then i slept
was waken when suddenly got commotion and then the other bus arrived
so we move to the other bus
damn comfortable
cos the broken down bus the chairs cannot make to lie down position
but the new bus can
then we all very good
let people lie down
on the way dere,
i looked around
EVERYONE WAS SLEEPING...

our meals had chicken at every meal!
mostly curry or with chili
come from spice trail mah...
with vegetables...
mostly we trade
then if cannot finish,give all to hubert!
hahas : ))
i wonder how he stay skinny!

some nights we played catching
the first time we played catching was on the day we did our pt of 25 rounds...
so most of the guys got blisters
hubert got blisters on his soles
then i threaten to step on his feet : ))
but anyways was fun!
we played like mad...
girls catch boys
not fair!!
Sir samuel help the boys
anyway,he was the main target
the 2nd time we played i caught aben ( i think that his name )
i super guard him,
any boys unfreeze him
i freeze
unfreeze
freeze
unfreeze
freeze
unfreeze
freeze
so all the boys was like fed up,
although sometimes he got away,
but i chased him again
so this time i ask rebecca to look after him
i went after Sir samuel next cos no one caught him yet...
i freeze him and super guard him
then aloysious go beg me by pulling my t-shirt then block my way
and sir samuel ran off...
so i caught him and the boys go use the same trick and block me and he RAN OFF AGAIN!!
i fed up and storm off because they PLAYED CHEAT!!
HMPH!!
so i practically ignored all the boys
then they all dun wan play catching ler,say not fun already
so duno play what stupid game called murderers.
then i see aloysious and oleander make a good couple lor : ))
cos they played piano and looked perfect for each other!!
hahas : ))
they eventually got bored with murderers and started playing truth and dare...
i never play cos i was still ignoring
so i was smsing all along then me,emilyn and charmaine talked about boyfriends and stuff.

it was mostly fun stuff and they were good too
we thought before the camp started,we would only have 5mins of shower,but they gave us most of the time 1 hour shower : ))

then the gb on the 2nd last day had a big bonfire...
it was at night and we all went to watch
the gb sang "At The Beginning"
so i love that song and i sang too
the stars was really beautiful that night
i was thinking of my family and all,then i really missed "him"
almost cry lar
then i the odd one out with no formal uniform
cos i haven got yet
mine not ready

the redcross were somehow being dumb cos as after the bonfire,they did fire drills and i didn't think they slept at all...
so me and the girls was in the room and we were all hungry...
so we ignored and went to sleep
somewhere around 1am emilyn woke me and said there food!
i was like what?6am already?
so i stumbled to the whiteboard and looked at the clock on the wall and it showed 1am!!
WTf!!
wake me at 1am,but anyway we all fall in and stood to attention
then the sir explained about the red cross fire drills and whatever
apparently the red cross was doing the fire drills at this time and they went all over the school banging on doors asking people to get out...
......waste of time
so we went back to our "bedroom"
all was about to go back sleep when oleander suddenly couldn't breathe
she felt suffocated so we immediately called the sirs!
then the sir went opposite and brought streptils and then asked her to suck on it...
around 2am plus,we went back to sleep
and then we woke up late!
wah 5mins to brush teeth and fall in!
so we quickly brush and we were almost late...
can let down hair one : ))

the last day we go for the SAF Yacht Party i think
so in the morning we did PT as usual
then we ate our breakfast
after that we packed our bag and fall in at foyer
so we waiting for the bus
and then the sirs suddenly said finish your water bottle now
then we were like?
he say must drink at least 500ml
so we all drink
then we went up the same bus that broke down
this time i sat with emilyn
so i slept all the way there
cos we slept at 2am last night
upon reaching there,we were divided into groups

WTF?!!
i only girl in this group with 4 other boys?
i already want to go home
so i glumly walk to the lounge where we were going to be assigned to our position
then we waited there like an hour and still no one came?
not fair!
the other 2 groups go kayaking
and another group go help people do banana boat
HMPH!
so me and the rest of my group members fed up
we walked to the jetty
and we help the banana boat
i was assigned together with aben!
this is seriously the worst day of my life
BOYS BOYS BOYS
i m anti boys ( except some )
but it was fun although burning hot
me and hubert swap position
so i took over his job of guarding the gate
den in the end,is me and hubert guarding the gate
duno how
so we chatted
after that me and one other guy go collect lunch
then there was a mix up
so i ended up not eating lunch
anyway i went back to to the gate
then i walk down the slope from the gate into the floating jetty
and i help with the banana boats
den aloysious complain that the other 2 groups playing in the sea
and we are HERE DOING BURNING WORK UNDER THE SUN
so aloy go complain
i went back up the gate
and realise hubert disappeared
so i look after the gate
then i saw him coming back with QOO can
then he held his mineral bottle in the other hand with half of the QOO inside
so he gave the QOO can to a indian girl from a another sch
then he arrived at the gate
then i scold him lar
give the QOO can to the other girl
never give me
HMPH!
then he say sorry and gave me half of his QOO
so i drink lor
then we did the work until 3:00
then break
break over,i went back to the jetty and found all of them had disappeared
so i went to the meeting spot
and everyone except 2 boys were in the sea
i didn't want to get wet so i waited until they were done
then all came back wet
then must fall in and sit down...
so WET!!
eeew
so everyone except me had a shower
then we all waited for our parents to come
then BYE BYE everyone
and went home

i miss the camp routine...
it was so fun
but i wouldn't trade it for
the goodness of home

i still haven done my homework...
I AM SO UP TO MY KNEES ( if you understand what i mean )

i still got tons of stuff to say

before the camp,saturday,my sister gym
so they had a disco party...
after the LAME disco party
we went for dinner with Auntie Edith's family
which comprised of Jerome,Mikalia,Edith and Nick
then also with Auntie Catherine's family
which comprised of Catherine,her mum and Sophia
then my family
which is Andrea,Megan,Mummy and ME
11 PEOPLE!
so we had a so quite nice dinner
and my mum brought this matteress because our guest bed the mattress was chewed off by you know who ( charlie )
so the adults chat and chat and chat
i was so bored out of my wits
and the so called "babies"
which are Andrea 12,Jerome 10,Sophia 6,Megan 5,and Mikalia 5
the goodie bag there was a balloon
a heart shaped one
and it was so pretty
you know what they did with it?
they took the balloon and all took turn trying to stamp on the balloon and making it burst
then it burst...
they stood in a circle,pointing at the balloon and laughing
they must be crazy
*roll eyes*
after the adults were safisated with their chating,
they went home
auntie cat and sophia was staying with us that night
so we all squeezed into one taxi
halfway there
we all realised,we forgotten to take the mattress
so we went back home first
and mum took a taxi back to the hawker centre
lucky she came back with the mattress

the next day,we went to Pasir Ris Park
we wanted go kid's kampong fishing
then we had lunch at this cafe
nasi lemark
VERY YUMMY
the owners were really kind
they gave us extra chili and complimentary lime juices which were really delicious
after that we walk all over looking for kid's kampong
by then you guys should know i 'm not fond of walking under the hot sun
so i was really in a bad mood...
i argue with my mum that kid's kampong already closed down in Pasir Ris
so she go asked for directions and turn out really closed down
HMPH!
told you
so we went to the new kid's kampong somewhere nearby
it was really big
we had a lot of fun too : ))
then when we were done
we went to the booth where the old uncle helped us put into plastic bag
he did mine last
and surprisingly he smiled at me and gave me some fishes
BIG FISHES
i mean those special one not inside the catching area
i was real surprised because he never gave megan,sophia and andrea any fishes
i caught more fishes then megan and sophia but not andrea
anyway,i was thinking what a nice uncle he was
so i went back to my mum sitting at the chair and showed her the fish
then she said we cannot keep them...
so we returned the fishes back : ' ((
after that we went to the pet shop next door
and brought alot of things

on the way home,which was about 4:00
we decided where to go
we went home and changed into clean clothes
we got to auntie's cat club which was at fort canning
can go swimming,but i didn't wanted
we ate dinner there which was yummy : ))

have you guys watch ghost whisperer?
i want the 2nd season to come out!
i also want Dead Zone 2nd season,CSI 8th season,Bones 2nd season,Criminal Minds 2nd season,Closer 2nd Season,and Desperate Housewife 3rd season...DVDS ( cos when no eng subs,i cannot understand )
i crazy about all these
if you don't like,
it's not my problem
anyone know the release date for those DVDS?

note to self
for NCC camp
1. bring my red pillow along
2. bigger towel
3. home clothes or PJ
4. books and ipod
5. sleeping bag
6. handphone charger

father's day is tomorrow...
i still haven make
what are you guys gift ideas?

that all i wanna say : )

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?
Why do I love you? I think and smile,
because I know the list could run on for miles.
The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
so many little things that make me love you so much.
The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
the way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
lost with you forever is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when you're by my side,
a sense of completion and overflowing pride.
The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,
the possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,
how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,but all you really must know is my love for you is real.

85th days
Samantha and Max
i love you

Labels: My soul

xoxo
9:26 AM

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Hellooo everyone!
yesterday i go kinokuniya
brought a lot of books!
cool right?!
then so heavy l0r!
so i ended up sulking away
cos my mum still wanna go shopping...
i hate shopping!
cos i don't look great in clothes
then walk walk around AIYO!
i wonder why people like shopping lor...
if only can just go out in PJ
more comfortable...
i just don't like shopping!
i more the homely type
i rather stay at home and read then shop!
anyway my mum look great!
like a teenager
we were at ngee ann city
and my mum went to LV...
anyway there was a queue outside
then we went inside and collect my mum handbag
then she shopped around
when we got outside,
i asked her why so many people like LV
cos it was alot of people and they need a queue to control the number of people inside the shop incase got people steal or what
then she say the brand good what
and then i said the brand okay okay only
she explain that one person have it,everybody must have it also and that LV expensive and it's every woman dream to have one
then i ask her is it every woman dream to have a rolex watch also?
cos she went to Hourglass earlier on and looked at the rolex watches..
...I don't really like LV
after that,we went to Prada
then home at last!

today i woke up at 9:30 with a big headache and a fever
checked my temperature and it was 38.7!
had a sore throat too so i went back sleep...
but it was really uncomfortable because if i covered myself with the blanket,i become too hot
and if i don't,i become too cold
so was woken up at 3:00 for lunch
but no appetite because when i sallow my throat become very pain... so went back sleep again
feeling very feverish then woke up at 5 or 6 for dinner again
don't want eat and my mother gave me panadol
but my headache was still there
and i went back sleep again
woke up at 8 feeling better
my headache is gone and i still have abit of fever...
but my sore throat is still there and it's really pain
went online and eat dinner anyway...

here a test :)


source : Rachel

Went eating steamboat 2 days ago or was it 3?
Mushroom Pot!
as advertised on TV
what to say about the food there?
hmm,it was okayokay...
I still prefer COCO steamboat!
especially COCO glue fish and all its yummy ingredients!
Mushroom Pot is abit stingy...
give so small plate of food and thin glasses.
Okay...
The minced beef tasted horrible
the fish was too soft and eventually it got all broken up
the fish balls was tasteless
the veggies stale
the mushrooms was okay!
the rice was super dry...
but I like the mushroom salad alot!
and the soup was yummy!
it's red date soup i think...
Mushroom Pot is at OG so...
after that we went shopping...
cos i drop the food on my skirt
my sisters fault!
make me laugh so much
then i holding the food with the chopsticks then i accidentally cannot grip it
but in the end,
never see any skirt i like so never buy...
i use the shopping bag to cover the stain!

I got some pictures!
Bear with it...Some look gross!


The steamboat soup

The mushroom salad

Megan drinking soup

Raw veggies and ingredients

The pork

byebye!
gotta sleep

xoxo
3:54 PM

Saturday, May 19, 2007

i was just thinking of how some people could be so mean...
like andrea
she reminds me of those high school bitch i see in books
popular,pretty and STUCK UP
it not like i had a fight with her okay?
is just that she so mean to megan
i don't know how to explain but it like she totally hates megan to the core.
she always talk on the phone having conference
and act "cute"
she puts on this whiny voice
it like she just want to fit in
she enjoy tormenting megan because it make her feel good
and then she and her friends will laugh at megan
it's just so mean
i not finding faults but i wonder...
if when she grows up,
will she take drugs just to "fit" in?
i was once like that ;)
talking on the phone all night with strangers online
not sleeping
game addicts
but i was eventually tired of this life
it is like a mask...
where i hide from the world in the virtual reality
i sure do hope andrea don't turn out to be a junkie
...
...
...
that the tough thing of being the eldest in the family
you have to take on the responsibly
you also have to be the ones your parents rely on
you have to be one who does secret things for your parents,simply because your siblings is too lazy.
your siblings also learn how to behave by what you do...
my mum blames me for andrea talking to the boys so late at night and says that she learn it from me.
and do anyone knows that andrea don't even know how to cook instant noodles and worser, don't even know how to turn on the stove?

i was rather happy today...
my mum praised me for cleaning the house up.
andrea is super lazy
talk on the phone all day and smsing
kinda sound like me when i was her age ;)

wheel week was super!
i love the dragon boating and the pizza making the best!
YUMMY!
in the dragon boat,
evelynn keep scolding me = ="
cos i keep splashing water at her with my paddle
YOU HAVE TO BEAR WITH ME!
hahas
we weren't first in the race
but heck care!
it was fun
but...
i still prefer kayaking
anyways to the bridge we was first
and i was the timer
i shouted so loud
1,2,3,4
1,2,3,4
1,2,3,4
the paddle strokes
then we rocks the dragon boat
damn scary at first,i keep screaming ; )
then must join all the boats together
then i wth?
Weiyang beside me in another boat of course!
but luckily the instructor make his boat move up
my instructor fall off while we rock the boat lor.
everyone like so horrified!
then the other instructor go pull her up...
seems very difficult to climb on the boat again!

pizza was super duper yummy
i say ours the best!
of course
pizza hut get beaten by us!
it was so cool
science centre the micro scope
amazing!
can zoom in
zoooooooooooooooooom!
then see the cells
some moving!

i also like the amazing race and the museum trip
amazing race at botanical garden
by register number!
i want be in the first group leh!
my mum should have put my chinese name first
well,the teachers at the check points,
was mostly off the mark
that means we go to the structure then NO TEACHER!
must the teacher check the paper then can move next check point
they don't know how stand at the correct place lor!
the museum was real cool!
got this electronic device
then we learn about the history of singapore
so high tech!

then also got this crush program
i like the 2nd part the best
girls was separated from boys
the girls was being talked to about "online relationships"
and boys "pornography"
our teacher was mr ghwee
i think so
then he gave us a summary of how chat rooms people talk
and that include MSN!
i keep giggling away
cos the chat summary was mostly like those i talk to boys online

i think i can give you a short view ;)
but it mostly for girls!

i think it was a experiment done by a pro in chat rooms
it was of course done by a girl!

bandboy^^:hihi
moomoo:hullo
bandboy^^:how old are you?and your gender?(checking age and gender)
moomoo:18,f
moomoo:how about you?
bandboy^^:19,m
bandboy^^:studying?
moomoo:yep
bandboy^^:name?
moomoo:jv,in a band
bandboy^^:wah,you must be so smart!(flattery)
moomoo:you leh?
bandboy^^:lousy lar,got boyfriend?
moomoo:no,not chio
badboy^^:cannot be,just that you never give any chance right?(flattery again)
moomoo:really
badboy^^:but i got chances anot?(checking his chances)
moomoo:duno
moomoo:i gtg,my mum nagging
badboy^^:so jialat ar!
badboy^^:you got pic of yrself?(checking your appearance)
moomoo:no
bandboy^^:how icq?
moomoo:nope
bandboy^^:so you on tml?(booking next appointment)
moomoo:maybe,around night
bandboy^^:see you tml
moomoo:nite
bandboy^^:bye honey(sweet talking)
moomoo:bye
bandboy^^:*tuck moomoo in*

i was pratically laughing = ="
it true
cause i encounter this many times
boys ALWAY use the tactic lor ; ))
they might tell you a secret to "sweeten you up"
but heck!
you a stranger and they want tell you a secret
must have told to hundred of strangers throughout the world.

ok...
i got back my exam results leh!
totally sucks man!
i failed chinese only
but the rest very low
english,geography and home ecomics i top in class
but report book very lousy!
cause the sa1 results include homework
and everyone knows i don't do homework until i am forced to!
13/39... LUAN!
emilyn 1st
CONGRATULATIONS!
cos she very good girl,
hand up work on time
obey teacher rules
and listen attentively in class.
my conduct was EXCELLENT!
wa....
i didn't behave well also can excellent
SIAO!
i don't hand up homework on time leh!

english supplementary today...
so boring!
at first can listen i-pod,sms
then people make so much noise then teacher bann from using!
smack!
i smsing clarence and i accidently rejected his call 2 times.
max is so going to kill me for smsing in class
= = "
hehe,but once in a while only what ;))
i been so good
but today good ;)
i got 3 goodies!
madam chong say do every 3 chapters,1 goodie!
me and emilyn do 9 chapters!
wanna know how TOUGH isit?
write until my hand so pain.
also holiday homework for english is 3 book reviews
i do 5 already! so 2 more

hehe...never post super long time
lazyy
ANYWAY,who the hell told clarence i USED to like him
MURDDDDDDDDER the person if i found out.
anyway the past is the past

i got an i-dog leh!
so cute,
my mom gave me one!



it was really cool!
got lights and it dances to music and it also acts as a speaker for your electronic devices
so kawaii!!
but no lights i dog pictures to show you now as it is currently out of batteries ; )
i use it too much already!

i got this charm bracelet from max
he brought it at sterling sliver?



Like this on the table not nice,
but it real pretty when i put it on...
reason being i never take pic with the bracelet on my hand is because the lightning is horrible and you can't see the charm...
from left to right is a heart charm,a triangle charm,a flower charm,a ring charm,a star charm,a diamond charm and a cresent moon charm.
i personally like the heart and the ring charm the most ; )
cos the ring charm is real pretty, and it is in the middle too.
i wear it all the time since i got it 2 weeks ago... except for school days of course!

i also made my mum a certificate leh



cool right!
i made one hor! nice right? took me 3 hours leh! i never use photoshop one! i use another software
lately my mum been peparing food for us
delicious!
but today,it's all take-away
so i gave her a certificate to reward her
; )

hmm
ummm
nothing much to say already
see ya!

xoxo
10:56 PM

Monday, April 30, 2007

I not the same person I used to be...
Is like when people on MSN greet me and say what a lovely picture you have,I will say thank and that all
In the past,I would exclaim loudly thanks and smile and somehow I will find a topic that keep us both interested and chatty
But nowdays...it like
the unbearable BOREDNESS
I just can't be bothered to come up with a interesting topic

Geography was VERY I repeat VERY VERY tough today...
I think I already got the first question wrong.
I really hope I do pass.
Right after Geog exam can go home
I think it ends at 9:45 so after that we went opposite to eat breakfast
I eat TOM YAM again...
then brought a big gulp
went back to the bustop and took 74

and so...this is MY day
the deariest day

Labels: Deary day

xoxo
12:27 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

Huh? It isn't everyday that Samantha give a hearty welcome = ))
I hate Tuesdays!
FCC and CC ( like chapel sort of service,you sit there and listen to teacher )

can't sleep
zzzzzz
and you not suppose to do anything else other then listening.
But Tuesdays is good because... NO MATHS!
hmm,I starting to like Maths a bit
is good because... ENGLISH!
English rocks my world!
is good because...GEOGRAPHY!
Geography is easy!
Quiz paper back
26/29!
quite good huh?

Recently got this bug...
The bug is called "The-Work-Hard-Bug"
Got into the craze of studying.
Homework done on time
Did 6 book reviews when only suppose to do 4 book reviews
Study for Maths because I'm very weak at Maths
Not being on the computer the whole day
Started paying attention in class and try not to sleep

Today got assembly at the 4th floor PA room
cannot wear shoes
The whole of Secondary 1 suppose to gathered there
TIGHT SQUEEZE!
Shoes all over outside the PA room
My sport shoes new leh!
Don't want take out
then teacher scold me!
!@#$%^&
Lydia got scolded by the level head discipline teacher...
she talked back then Ms Ng yelled at her in front of the whole Sec 1
then brought her outside ( to don't know where )
came back inside and she was crying...
I did a sketch while listening to the person talking about the Pulau Ubin Camp...
LIMITED WATER SOURCE!
draw water from well
ewww!

I think I must have a problem
whenever I listen to my I pod,I turn to full volume
and start dancing = = "
I now like black =)
Officially favorite colour : Black
I going to spoil my eardrums
and during Music lessons today
I took out my I pod and started listening
Almost got caught!

I am exhausted...
Every morning in school
I begin to think
that it's going to be another deary day
oh,how I wish I can sleep on and on
Had another nightmare
I dreamt my family abandoned me at the airport
and they emigrate to Australia...
In the dream I was in the airport,calling out Mum!
then I squatted down and started crying
talk about subconscious right?
I have to study study...
I engrossing myself in studies
wanting to take those fears away
another deary day for the deary Samantha
how many negative thoughts in my mind
I can't wait for the day,
when my time is up
Am I a coward?
I daren't dare kill myself
Each time I think of the future
It scares me
I'm such a big coward!
Think positive thoughts!Think positive...
I can't
I fighting against my mind
Heard of Spiderman 3?
He fighting with his dark side
I am too
someone help me...

xoxo
10:06 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I'm taking down my tagboard
Just recieved my English Compre test paper
21/35
Is it good?
Highest in class as usual
not feeling good this days//

cried over something
English Compo paper back too...
the one,teacher read in class aloud

emotion -> light-headed

Wild music pounded in my ears as I danced to the music.
light headed as I was,I could hear sirens wailing away in the distance.I just shrugged it off.Suddenly...
everything blacked out.

I was floating on what?Everything was inky black.All I could sense was myself.And all I could hear was a soft humming coming from the left.I headed toward the source of the sound.Out of no where,a great whiteness overcame me,I squinted and there was this person cloaked in gold.Oh!That gold was so overwhelming.It bounced off against the whiteness.

This person,I could tell,was not a person to be messed with.He spoke with a air of authority and this was what he said "Samantha, (whole class know its me leh = = ") you are destroying yourself by harming yourself with drugs.Don't let drugs be your master.I have given you another chance.Use it well." "But..."I wanted to said "Drugs is my life!"

But before I could do that,I was jolted back into reality.Again that same whiteness.I sat up and exclaimed "I am in the hospital!"
Strange,scary looking tubes were hooked to my body and I realised I was held down by clasps."What the..."I said angrily.I struggled against the clasps and I think that they must be attached with a alarm system as,as soon I struggled,a policeman came rushing in."How are you?"he said.He was a striking man standing at 170cm tall and his features was chiseled.His eyes was a grayish/green in colour and well he was umm uh cute.(whole class laughing)He repeated once more and I looked at him with dazed eyes.I snapped back to reality and said "I'm fine,thank for your concern."

"What your name?"I asked him."Max and the reason why you are here is because we found you half-dead at the disco.We are putting you in the rehab centre after you recover from the overuse of drugs in your body.All these moments without drugs was painful.I went cold turkey.It was crazy.I was suffocating.Somehow I managed to get drugs again.It was cool.I became light-headed and forgot all my worries.

One day,the blackness came again.This time I thought I wouldn't be given another chance.The man in the golden cloak said "I give you a chance and did you use it well?NO!"I cowered in fear and sobbed."Please give me a chance,"I begged.The terrifying man agreed to let me be alive again on one condition.The condition was if I ever took drugs again,I will suffer five times more the pain of cold turkey.

This time I made it my only hope.To get out of this drug world.It was tough.I was still at the brink of death itself.I struggled every moment to breathe without drugs.Each time when I went crazy,Max was there to comfort me with his soothing words and his lovely smile which would light up my day.But I could tell that he was too,almost giving up hope.There was sadness in his tear-filled eyes when he looked at me.All those teen years,I hurt my family enough by taking drugs.Day after day they had to worry about me.Whether I would be back today or not wasn't up to them.I knew I couldn't hurt another loved one.So I put up a violent struggle.This time I succeeded.

When I got out,I was relieved.I was no longer in the grasp of drugs and now I could finally see the true beauty of the world.I wondered why I was so stupid earlier on to take drugs.My family no longer had to worry about me dying and I got married to a cute policeman and had a pair of adorable girl twins.(whole class laugh louder)I went back to school and study hard.I now was one of the richest person on earth.

When I was 101 years old,lying on my death bed.I looked up at the face who had been my light all those years of my life.I whispered to him and said"I love you forever and shall do so forever."I then passed away peacefully with a smile on my face.This time when I saw the man cloaked in gold and who had made me so terrified,I was finally able to walk up to the man and say the words I been wanting to say all those golden years of my life.The words was "Thank you."

Trust me to write such a emo compo...
I poured my heart into this.
Some of it reflect on what I'm feeling now.
I had a dream last night.
A weird dream which I not going to say out loud
because it's going to hurt lots of people.
This dream is part of my heart
and what I really think

An Angel

You there during those dark times
when I felt so down
that I wanted to kill myself
You cheered me up
by planting kisses on me
as and where it mattered most
You held me tight and comforted me
and lend me a shoulder to cried on

If not for you,
I would have been dead by now
some days
I really want to pick up something sharp
and slash my wrists with it
but you told me NO firmly

You were my childhood friend
and now you are my boyfriend
you called me when I was sick
and asked whether I was okay

You were by my side
picking me up when I fell
With your eyes
you told me that you truly cared
not unlike those friends

Sometimes,
you crumbled too
and I would wipe away your tears
I would reach out and hug you.

You could see through my brave font
like you could totally understand me
You encourage me to be strong
When I pray at night,
I pray to God
that this angel in blessing
will be safe and loved

I can see the wisedom in your eyes
I wondered how you got it
You taught me many things
which I will always remember.

I thank God
that he had created you
and that you are truly an angel in blessing
You will always have a place in my heart

xoxo
10:29 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

xoxo
5:48 PM

Monday, April 09, 2007

da act handsome guy = )) Junjie

Sia Mei...I think that's her name (NCC)

TAN YING WEN!Muhahas

Carmen and Sing Mei

xoxo
9:49 PM

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

i am so frustrated!
i do blame God sometimes why IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS?
but maybe he chosen me for this journey...
i do hate my life sometimes
i really do

but no one can change who i am
or destroy me
for i am who i want to be

Footprints in the sand

One night I dreamed I was walking
Along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that
During the low periods of my life when I was

Suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,

So I said to the Lord, "You promised me,
Lord, that if I followed You,
You would walk with me always.

But I noticed that during the most trying periods
Of my life there have only been
One set of prints in the sand.

Why, When I have needed You most,
You have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you. "

It does make sense right?
My life is like that. but in difficult periods,i know the Lord is there.
i am really worried... my mum and my step dad is fighting over the custody of my youngest sister Meg. i don't want Meg to be like me. split between two parents all the time and don't know who i should hurt. it's tough. why can my step dad compromise? he said to my mum if she doesn't want to go to court,my mum have to compromise that every month, two weeks is spent with him and two weeks with her. every Christmas will be spent with him and every new year with her. what RIGHT do he have to take Christmas from Meg away from us? what RIGHT does he have to get the custody of Meg. after all he not even married to my mum. what RIGHT do he have to be in our life? why can't he just have a one night stand and just leave us alone. if my mum lose the court battle, WE will have to give Meg up. WE will have to compensate him $20,000. what RIGHT does he even have at all? I MEAN WHAT RIGHTS?! i wish i could just murder him if he ever step in this house again.

EVER AGAIN.
i can't stand another custody battle.LOOK what it did to me?
i lost something precious of that word ever existing " CUSTODY "
adults!
what RIGHT does he have to step into our house and break up our family?
i know i do detest Meg sometimes. but she is after all MY sister.
SHE IS MY SISTER FOR GOD DAMN SAKE.
why can't he and my mum be friends?
all those quarrels
all those crying
all those heart breaking moments
between my father and my mum.
i don't want Meg to be like ME
with a broken family.
where one is torn between choice.
as one loves mum and dad every much
i don't want her to have to choose!
i don't want her to fear about breaking mum AND dad heart!
i don't want her to have to shuffle in between mum AND dad place every 2 weeks. it really tiring you know? to have shuffle in between places and when things get out of control, you stay at your aunt's.
it's exhausting
not having the stability of a NORMAL life
not having the choice of who you want to be with
having fights
having QUARRELS
having to shuffle in between
and having to watch out on stepping on your mum AND dad toes
what if they have a new wife or a new husband?
what if their new wife or husband do that to US again?
won't it be a never ending cycle?
Fights,Divorce,Custody,Marriage?
Fights,Divorce,Custody,Marriage?
Fights,Divorce,Custody,Marriage?

won't they stop making US cry?
won't they give US a proper childhood?
won't they TRY not to fight?
i know you can't stand each other
and you wanna fight!
but don't do it in front of US please?
for god damn sake...
don't make Meg suffer the same pain
don't make her choose the choice between you two.
what if you choose mum? then dad is angry and won't forgive you?
what if you choose dad? and mum won't forgive you? and what if they hate you for choosing that choice?

my mum and dad divorce when i was 3 and when Andrea was 2
i was old enough to remember everything!
do you know when you at the age of 3,you can start remembering things?
the things they threw at each other
the obscenities they shouted at each other
the hurtful things they said
the way they slammed the door when they was angry
the way they walked out of each other life
the way they leave behind painful memories
divorce,custody,fights
really hurt people around you.
ex specially your children
for they the ones who suffer the most.
i beg and plead them not to fight
i cried and scream
but would they ever LISTEN?
i went down on my knees
with tears streaming down
but would they ever LISTEN?
i remember my mum taking out a knife and pointing it at my dad
at that time i was terrified.
i brought my sister up
and i was looking at them from the stairs.
when my mum pointed the knife at my dad,
i screamed and went between them.
they stopped
but the next day it happened all over again.
it was lucky that Andrea can't remember this.

i don't want this to happen to Meg
no! she can't!
at worse i run away with her
i know i can't hide forever
but i don't want her to be like ME!
she only 5!
it's give me nightmares
to the horror that my mum stabbed my dad
divorce all you want!
but don't drag US into this
don't DRAG Megan into this
into this painful memories
she is a bright girl...
destined to be a wonderful person
look at her lovely smile
look at her beautiful eyes
look at her innocent face
she so just like a child
whose face is brimming with happiness
don't make THAT face into one where it is filled with hatred for this WORLD.
don't make her beautiful eyes
all red and blurry till she loses her sight
don't make that smile
twisted and sad

i wish i had wings
so that i could fly away
from this sufferings...
but i need one for Meg,Andrea and mummy too
make me cry no longer...

Labels: Make me cry no longer

xoxo
7:06 PM

Saturday, March 31, 2007

ok... today was damn funny = )
got the madam chong ( somehow,i don't find her that idiotic ) lesson thingy for those who never pass up for long long time.
those ppl was... me! joel,joey,tu jun,janis,lesean,bing qi
woke up at 7am this morning by my mum...
i cried and threw a tantrum. but in the end got to go lurr...
so i wore my uniform,brush teeth and went down to take the cab.
then i haven wore my tie,my badges and tie my hair. so i did all this.
wanted tie hair... imao,no comb
so i use hands... then very messy but i clip my hair up also. so okok,look like those secondary ppl who anyhow tie their hair. so i go school,i see mirror then i like WOW,how come look so much better. zzz, then saw joel... walao,he so damn awake and lesean talking on the phone with don't know who.
went up then call mdm chong. turn out she was later then all of us...
so we waited... i put my bag at the sliver tables outside staff room.
then joel like keep making me laugh. so along came tu jun. then i said WOW,you too ar? ok then we chat... then janis. i said you also? then joey. i said wah,even joey leh... then bing qi then i like keep looking at him whether he bing da or bing qi cos they both identical twins. but the bing da in another class lurr. so the joey put his bag at my table then the joel also. then madam chong come. then like say sorry sorry. joey the father came also but the father so different looking leh = = "
then i already do my homework. want go home sleep... so i give my book review ( i do propely hor! ) then madam chong look and check whether i do properly. must do 2 book review then i do 3... want impress her mah. so she go WOW,you do 3 book reviews ar? very good! then she say where your vocab building so i said haven buy. then she make go see book shop open not. lucky no open. so i go up tell her not open. then she say when are you going t0 buy? i said monday during recess. then wednesday hand up all 18 pages. she said samantha, you are a intelligent girl and those worksheets are no problem to you at all. i was nodding my head at every word she said. then she say i can go ler! yay! 3rd to come 1st to go. lols,then tu jun hair very messy. joel ask him why then tu jun say just wake up mah. wa,i see everybody so early... all like just wake up. me too lor = )
then i go outside catch taxi then mercedes come ler. then i went inside the taxi. was so shocked that it was a woman! she must be over 30 cos i know taxi drivers when apply for taxi license must at least be 30 plus. then the woman taxi driver... she so pretty leh... then some more so elegant. then she keep smiling at me. then i reach home i changed and drop down dead = )


Free Countdown Clocks at WishAFriend.com

Labels: Samantha

xoxo
8:48 PM

Friday, March 30, 2007

oh well... be warned,this is going to be a super duper long post... if you can't stand reading then get out ;) how long since i haven update? let me check... hmm 10days! let me recall what happen these 10 days. the neoprints above are taken a few weeks ago. its been a long time but i was too lazy to scan and edit. finally did it!

this wednesday was the same boring old routine. as usual arts - mr lin
scolded me for not bringing my canvas. then he went blah blah. i didn't listen to him. shutted my ears. then he ticked me off when i went to emilyn table to check. as if i want do painting lurr
he make me go back my seat and do the sketch book. then i like ... so i went back,took the sketch book out and then placed my head on the table and went to sleep. rrrang,recess ler. then maths. we got new teacher mr quek. quack quack quack you go. i got booked by mr quek for not bringing textbook and exercise book cos i too lazy get them out of the lockers. only textbook and exercise book what. can share right. it - we did the jojo html. easy then was science - mrs lee teaching how read the scale thingy - internal and external something then i was half listening and half dozing off. english - madam chong, chase me for book review which i haven handed up for 2 months. only book review. why so agitated lurr.
bye madam chong! we go eat then melody make annetta angry then annetta stomp off home. melody upset lurr then we help her make straws hearts put in a bottle give annetta. we make until 7pm then i never bring handphone never tell mum i stay back. then we was packing up. then there was this 2 sec 3 guys. they walking to their table (cos we on the bridge) then they started clapping their hands for no reason. there was only the 2 guys and us. i found it funny lor. then i go laugh. the guys walked over to our table then ask us what we doing. before we reply he go take the bottle and mess it up. he go put all the money inside! idiot but then he make us keep laughing. their names are russell and mervin. the mervin come from river valley leh! cos he yun xin cousin then yun xin tell me lor. reached home at 9pm and got ticked off by my mum. saying that she almost call police and all those words lurr.

thursday- is nothing ;)

today- today was late. then i almost got demerit points +3 leh. luckily got reason. then like over 40 ppl late. hahas,cannot take down enough names so they make us stand in parade square. luckily only for 10mins. we today lucky. home eco. forget file (in locker) then duno why mrs chan never come lar. then this teacher take over. boring lar. make me sleep then come scold me later.raining damm heavily lar. then i got this stupid chinese remidal. all the ppl in ex 6f go for the remidal. the remidal only got 15 ppl lurr. so 4 of us from rv. damm disgraceful lar. the weiyang make huang lao shi scold him. wah,damm fierce. the weiyang like don't care lor. then intro ourselves. paiseh lurr. finish remidal then i went to my class room meet emilyn. saw her there then we waited for melody,jia qi and dawn. they go red cross then they wearing their uniform first time. they come back look so damm smart. dawn forget buy the hair net then me and annetta went down to buy for her. came up again then the redcross smart girls went off. i asked emilyn i wanted eat lunch. so we went down. annetta stayed to look after the bags and asked us to buy bottled milo. when we reached the canteen. saw joey and tong shen. i almost laughed my head off. they look so damm weird in their army uniform. then i saw mr lin and ask him "eh,mr lin,they look so weird right?" mr lin said... next time you like that also ;) army uniform for girls also. muhahas, then i go eat spagetti. finished i went to drink milo. we help annetta buy too. so we went up. sit there do nothing but chat,chat chat.

i hate madam chong lar. she called my mum and complained about my attitude and homework. tml have to see her. yawn! ;) cheated in spelling test. then i drew on the table the spelling words. spelling come i copy from the table lar. then i only drew 2 words. mdm chong found out lor then scold scold scold. craps! then she say she woudn't book me in cmf file but give me warning only. the spelling test come with a vocab test where you use the spelling words to fill in the blanks. lousy lar this class. i highest with a score of 28/30 while the 2nd highest is 19/30 which is the joel lar. the damm deputy chairman. out of 39 ppl in my class. only 6 pass. and the top ten goes like this - samantha 28/30,joel 19/30,janis 19/30,evangeline 15/30,gerald 17/30, one more don't know. damm lousy ler. even retest, the paper is the same. all same same. the retest highest only 24. zzz,comon lar. i mean it the same paper right? the sentences is still at the same places. go memorize all the ans on the first paper then all correct lar. one word 2marks. then i spelled appropiate wrongly. spelled as appropaite. no i mah. lame lar, one i i get full marks. geography the test paper was so so hard. then on thursday, my friends and i was praying hard to pass the test. then mr sim said, only 10 ppl pass. highest is 10 half /15 lowest 2/15. then we was praying praying praying. supense... then mr sim holding the papers said samantha... then i like huh? how come i first to get paper,i thought according to register. then i suddenly think the worst, thought first to come mean lowest. then like want cry ler. as i was walking to get my paper. mr sim continued " a round of applause for samantha. she got the highest!" woot!! then got chocolate some more. but then lousy ler... only 10 half /15... must learn more! then there was this question. required draw a internal structure of the volcano. then i draw 3d volcano. got back the paper mr sim wrote there said a 2d diagram is enough but any way excellent! then science i 2nd highest with a score of 26/30. 2nd highest 27/30. only two more mark lurr. never mind. but den it alright. mr lin was like saying i could go express if not for my maths and chinese. nvm lurr.

my uob painting is damm nice seh. but another girl paint something also very beautiful. i hope she win!

the fund raising event on 5th april. then have bicycle races,coast run,sand castle building. 8 ppl for bike race,8 ppl for coast run and 15 ppl for sand castle building. i one of the 8 for bike racing. i love bike racing. then got 2 teams for bike race. 4 in each. emilyn also joined with me. then stupid mr lin put me and emilyn different team. then mrs chan was there too lar. so we said please mrs chan put us together. then mr lin like say don't change. then i was like please lar... mrs chan change for us! mrs chan rocks! mrs chan rocks! love her ;) hahas... she damm good to me. maybe becos i scored 90/100 for her home ecos?

report book cost $4.50
canvas cost $8.20
ncc costs $140
workshops costs $80+
sch fees $100
fund raising $250

this sch damm expensive lar.
goverment aided...
but anyways aircon rocks!
new sport hall coming soon.
request for bowling alley was cancelled.
air con requests in every classroom will make our sch fees go up to $400...

anyways fairfield rocks,nono,my teacher said there no school called fairfield. ok... fairfield methodist rocks! hahas ;)

madam chong,she called my mum leh! tml go to go see her. for lessons. ;)

~ start of survey ~
the longest survey you'll ever fill in! do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.. do this because the person who did this didn't sit here for ages for nothing. answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

single or taken: taken
siblings: 2 younger sister ( one is one year younger and the other is 8 years younger - i am 13 -
eye color: black
shoe size: 3 damm small
height: 147cm
what are you wearing right now: kimo
best place to go for a date: hmm?beach?

animal: dog
drink: bubble tea,fruit punch
sport: kayaking
month: december
juice: honeydew
favorite cartoon character: eeyore
have you ever.. given anyone a bath? dogs,,baby sister and me
bungee jumped? later i heart attack
made yourself throw-up? yes
gone skinny dipping?(swim naked) yes
eaten a dog? never will
loved someone so much it made you cry? irrevelent
broken a bone? no,i'm the lucky sort
played truth or dare? many
been in a sauna? lovely!
been in a hot tub? wonderful!
swam in the ocean? yep,when i capsize during ncc
fallen asleep in school? i am that sort who bored with everything
ran away? twice
broken someone's heart? irrevelent
cried when someone died? yep
cried in school? in secondary school only
fell off your chair? ouch!
sat by the phone all night waitingfor someone to call? irrevelent
saved AIM conversations? no
saved e-mails? special reasons
made out with just a friend? i not a slut
used someone? yep

ever had.. chicken pox: got vaccinated...
sore throat: now!
broken nose: no
mono: mono mean? monorail? monopause?

do you.. believe in love at first sight? irrevelent
long distant relationship? irrevelent
who was the last person you slow danced with? irrevelent
who makes you smile the most? irrevelent
who knows you the best? donovan

do you like filling these out: want make this post super duper long
do you like yourself: sometimes
do you get along with your family? yep. er? exspecially with ppl older then me in my family...younger ones.... okok

do you even believe in love? yes
hated someone in your family? my sister...
gotten any awards? yes
what car/truck do you wish to have? as long as big enough for me to sleep ;) and comfortable too
where do you want to get married? france
good driver? no license lurr
good Singer? no
have a lava lamp? used too
how many remote controls are there in your house? lazy count

what i love about him
i love the way he look at me,
his eyes so gentle and gray.
i love the way he make me so happy,
and the ways he show he care.
i love the way he say, "i love you,"
and the way you're always there.
i love the way he touch me,
always sending chills down my spine.
i love that he is with me,
and glad that he mine.

anyone know of a special ossacion coming up
*winks*
*smile*

......
.........
...........
.............

my birthday!
presents please?
no celebration this year.
sorry guys! and gals!

wish me happy birthday!
i going be 13
don't wanna be...
it the first time i celebrate my birthday so privately
without a big celebration
but somehow...
i know it be the best i ever have ;)

blessings
samantha (over 1000words ler) - should i write more? - ( nah ) - want sleep -
;)

Labels: Warning

xoxo
10:39 PM

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Throat been hurting alot.No mood to talk,all I want is to sleep forever.I got my report book back today = ) At least my picture look nice leh = )) I got 73.2 for English ( 2 ),Chinese 20.7 ( U ),Maths 25.0 ( U ),Science 80.7 ( 1 ),Geography 76.6 ( 1 ),Home Ecos 90.0 ( 1 ),Visual ARTS 70.0 ( 2 )

Remarks : A cheerful pupil who puts in her best effort and produces work of good quality

Excellent!!At least my mum didn't scold = ) But going to have Maths tuition again...ARGH,HATE MATHS!! The rest except Chinese ROCKS = )

Been coughing away and this led to my throat being sore...Sleepy everyday.At 7:00pm everyday,I feel like dropping my head.My handphone got confisated but I got it back = ) Was smsing in class then I go pack bag put my books all on the table.And put the handphone on top of the stack of books.Then my deputy chairman go confisate.HATE HIM!But I got it back.I told teacher I was packing my bag then I took out everything.Then he ask me why not in the locker?I explained it nicely that THIS MORNING I already TOLD him I LOST MY locker keys then he gave me back = ) Got this stupid rule coming up. Must wear singlet leh...SO DAMM HOT,Mr Lin go book Lydia and Julia in CMF File.CMF File very serious!!I wonder how come Mr Lin know they not wearing singlet?Pervert him lar...Then Lydia complained say alot girls in our class also never wear.Then Mr Lin said give the names lor,ACTUALLY I also never wear...I wear I drink 5 bottles of ICE fruit punch on the day I wear singlet.Then Lydia said why don't you go check lor.Then Mr Lin said you expect me go check ar...LOLS = ) ya,pervert!! Hate singlet,Hate singlet.Got UOB painting competion coming up.I'm doing a fairytale land painting.It has a girl in the middle dreaming while she is surrounded by faeries.Me,Emilyn,Melody,Rachel,Han Nian went to our school T-Zone.First time go.Wah,damm shiok = ) Got air con,cafe,got 4 TV where can play X-BOX then I see ppl play Halo 2 or 3.Cool!Then I ate grilled cheese sandwich,chicken nuggets and harsh brown.YUMMY = )

Labels: Report book results

xoxo
8:19 PM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Just came back from the doctor = )) Went to Mount Elizabeth Hospital. Then for lunch my family went to Taka. I ate Congee (Duh,what else?) Then my mother brought steamed cakes (Yummy!!) Love them = ) Then at the tai stand, we waited there for 10mins. 3 more people to my turn... "Beep beep" 1 taxi came. He asked anyone going to China town ? Then the other 3 people infront said "NO" Then my mother said Balmoral Park then the taxi driver was about to say NO then he saw me. I go look at him in the eye. Then my eye was like saying "YOU BETTER NOT SAY NO...IF NOT YOU DIE" Then the taxi driver said "...Hop in !" = ) Wah, my eyes got hyponite effect. (Hahas) Feeling so sick...Temperature today was 38.7 (Still can play computer ar?) Yep!!Computer make me get well.Tomorrow going to his house.

Life

The road of life is full of bumps,
Potholes, twists and turns.
There are constant battles that you will fight
And lessons you will learn.

How I've been helped along the road,
I didn't realize until now.
There were times when I didn't see the signs,
But there was someone to show me how.

How to grow, how to live,
And even how to love.
We've had our laughs, had our cries,
And even shared some hugs.

Throughout the years with my friends
We all grew up as one.
But there is still a road ahead.
Our growing up is not done.

Soon the road will split,
And we'll go our separate ways.
We won't forget the road behind
But we have to grow up someday.

It's time for you guys to choose your road
And grow up on your own.
I realize now, we 're getting older,
And we have to let each other go.

But when you need me, I'll be there.
The one lone little star
Lighting up a path for you,
No matter where you guys are,

And now we see the path ahead,
With all its twists and turns.
We will look forward to who we'll become
Not forgetting the children we were.

Labels: Hospital - SICK -

xoxo
5:27 PM

Monday, March 12, 2007

Labels: GROUNDED

xoxo
7:58 PM

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Labels: For guys only

xoxo
7:38 PM

Anyone remember I held a birthday party on 1 April 2005?My birthday?XD All girls party de.I just got the pictures.The fruity loops cake was a private affair while the circus cake was the actual party.Enjoy!!ONE THING,Remember to look at my sis expression the first few pics.

Labels: My birthday pictures

xoxo
6:24 PM

Saturday, March 10, 2007

If you don't want me to hate you,you gotta say it

Labels: Samantha, You have to say it

xoxo
6:34 PM

Friday, March 09, 2007

It been a long long week.Today I going to give a speech of my Maths teacher,Madam Neo who is leaving today because of cancer in one of her eye.


Madam Neo

Madam Neo,although I ALWAYS fall asleep in your lessons,
I decided to pay attention to you this afternoon...
That was only then I realised you was interesting.
How I regretted not paying more attention to you,how I regretted
not treasuring you more.Madam Neo,SOMETIMES I detest you,
Sometimes...I felt you was really good cause I never got booked by you
before for not handing in my homework.My Chinese teacher always does that!!
Madam Neo,thank you for being our Maths teacher for the past 2months,
I will remember you always.Thanks for your gift and for SURE God will
bless you!!I promise you I will try not to sleep again in a Maths class and I hope
you will come back to Fairfield Methodist soon!!All the best to you and for the last time
I want to say Thanks!!

Since when did I become such a baby?Today the last lessons was Maths.We had exercises and
Madam Neo didn't even mention to us why she was leaving.We only found out the reason from 1A.When it was time for Maths,our class vow to keep quiet and be good.You could even hear a pin drop.I almost laughed because it was the first time I ever heard the class QUIET until you could hear a pin drop.When Tong Shen ask Madam Neo why she was so happy today,the whole class shh him loudly then Madam Neo said today was the last day for everyone.I mean it really like the last day of the term right?But we knew she meant her leaving Fairfield.At the end of the lesson,she gave each of us a bookmark.Here what the bookmark say:

Teen Creed

Don't let your parents down;
They brought you up.

Be humble enough to obey;
You may give orders someday.

Choose companions with care;
You become what they are.

Guard your thoughts;
What you think,you are.

Choose only a date
Who would make a good spouse.

Be master of your habits,
or they will master you.

Don't be a show-off
when you drive.
Drive safety and arrive.

Don't let the crowd pressure you;
Stand for something
or you'll fall for anything.

Author unknown


Thanks!!I will treasure the bookmark .The whole class gave her a card and I could tell Madam Neo was going to cry.Lots of my friends cried too then suddenly I don't know,I felt like crying then I bit my lips but my eyes was red. = = " Crybaby!!I quickly went to the toilet and wash my face then I went for my Art.I had to stay back because I didn't do worksheet.When I changed bus 75 to 105 and sat in it,I felt asleep and when I woke up,I was at Toa Payoh.I quickly got up and mumbled to myself "I never had felt asleep this long!!"I took the taxi back.My mother told me that she has to bring me to the doctor as there problem regarding my CCA...Why can't I be a normal girl?IT NOT FAIR TO ME!!But looking back,I realised my mum love me very much and that she was trying her best to persuade the school that it was alright for me to join NCC Sea.The school is afraid when I go kayaking or any water sports,when suddenly thunder and lighting come,I would not be able to hear the instructions shout by my teacher.But I really love NCC.If worse come to worse,I have to join Red Cross...

Recently we are doing fund raising,on Wednesday,we sold ice pops,rasins,patato salad,lollypops, for funds and now we have $850+ The target is $6000 for each class.We are holding anothor fund raising but this time it include movie screening.We are showing Rob-B-Hood and each ticket is $3.There only 60 seats for grab.We are also selling titbits and the offer is for Fairfield Methodist people only.There 12 people doing the project which include me and Emilyn.I and Emilyn will be doing the poster and tickets.I hope our class will reach the target!!GO GO GO!!

Blessings
Samantha

Labels: A disaster - Mdm Neo -

xoxo
9:55 PM